Is Your Environment Making You Sick?
I’m not referring to asbestos or living next to a factory spewing toxins in the air (although those are absolutely making you sick). I’m referring to how you live, the people you are surrounded with and the routine you’ve acquired as your own.
I was inspired to write this blog post after meeting with a client today. We went through a visualization exercise where I guided her through a future life scenario. The visualization was general to allow her imagination to fill in the blanks. After she opened her eyes, she wrote down everything she observed.
Everything was about being in nature. Her life was full of love and friends. A big smile came to her face as talking about it took her there. “I’ve really been missing being connected to the woods.”
We discussed her findings and uncovered her longing to be in nature – not to visit, but to create roots in. As a city dweller for almost 15-years, she felt trapped and forced along a pattern that conflicted with her values. (One of her first sessions was focused on identifying her values.) She felt rushed to make time for friends and events and conflicted when she wanted to choose time alone for herself.
As we moved through the session, she came to the realization that she needed to move to be truly happy.
If you’re thinking that moving away is an easy solution to fix your issues, it may be temporary, but this is not in fact the case for this client. If it were said in haste or I need to move this month, I would be able to pick up the urgency and avoidance. Instead her response was aware and composed with a plan of 1-2 years.
If you take a look at the blog on Staying or Going, this is the fourth phase: Going with a Plan. My acknowledging how her current environment works and doesn’t work for her, she can create a logical and longer-term plan that serves her.
So, how do you know if your environment is making you sick?
1) Do you feel run down and sick all of the time? It may be your environment.
2) When you think of the people around you, does it excite your or exhaust you?
3) If you close your eyes and think about the place that inspires and calms you at the same time, where is it?
4) If you could make three changes to your current environment to make it better for you, what would they be?
5) What’s a choice you could make for you today to improve your environment?
What I Learned About Podcasting at Guitar Center
I have watched countless hours of YouTube videos trying to understand how to set up, record and launch a podcast. Most of the time i thought they were speaking another language and i was the dumb one who didn’t get it. Plug this, click that, twirl around three times and voila you have a podcast!
I had way too much information and no plan to implement.
I asked a friend who runs his own podcast for suggestions. (Thank you, Mark Phillips of Better PR Now for the help!) His podcast is interview style with a guest in another location. He uses:
- A Skype recording software (I use a free version I found online)
- Audio-Technica ATR 2100 microphone
- Garage Band to edit (free on Macs. I have a PC and use my video edit software - Wondershare Filmora that cost $65 for the license)
I then decided to take my new found knowledge and put the guys at Guitar Center to the test. These guys know their stuff! We asked them about a fancy schmancy set up for speaking and instrumental recording with the set up.
I’d like to think they were impressed with my knowledge of dual outputs to USB and XLR, but beyond that i was having an internal “huh????” moment. These guys were rad and recommended the ideal microphones for the intended set up and swayed us away from the top of line models.
Did you know that Guitar Center also re-sells equipment and offers a 45 day return policy with no questions asked? I didn’t. It’s like having an insurance policy for a Craigslist deal!
These are my buds at Guitar Center. Yes, it took a village to answer my questions!
For a higher end recording for musical performances, they recommended the following set up:
If you can't read their handwriting, here is a breakdown:
Interface (where the mics and instruments get plugged into) Specifications:
- 480-192 Khz sample rate
- At least 4 mic pres, 2 line inputs
- 16-24 bit rate
They recommended the Scarlett 18i8 that will run about $349
Microphones:
- Blue Spark - $200
- AKG P220 - $150
- Rode NT1 -$200
Headphones:
- Sennheiser HD280 - $99
With cables and everything, it’s about $900 for this grouping, but they said to keep an eye out for Black Friday specials and they price match for 10 days!
I ended up buying two of the Audio-Technica ATR 2100 microphones from Amazon for my set up which will be a direct plug in to my computer. It cost me a little over $130 for the two.
I'll be back to visit my buddies if I need any help!
Your Body Knows Best: Why Are You Ignoring It?
Yesterday I met with a client who needed to reschedule the week before. Why? Because she was in urgent care dealing with multiple infections. “I’m going to have some serious lessons learned after this” she said in a text.
The antibiotics started to work her magic as we scheduled our next session. Yesterday we sat down to refocus on her goals, but I wanted to get a sense of what led up to her being in such a dire situation.
"So tell me about the days leading up to going to Urgent Care.”
“Well I hadn’t been feeling well for a couple of weeks, but my schedule was too busy and I couldn’t make time to make an appointment to go to the doctors. I brushed it off and hoped it would go away, but it kept getting worse. I made a doctor’s appointment and the next available appointment was five days away.”
“What did you tell them your symptoms were?”
“I wasn’t very honest with them and definitely undersold what was actually going on. I didn’t want to freak anyone out and thought I could push through.”
But pushing through was the last thing her body did. The next day she had to run out of a web meeting to go to the Urgent Care for what turned out to be three infections, one of which was in her kidneys.
I asked her “When did your body start whispering it needed attention?”
“Oh months and weeks ago.”
“When did it start talking?”
“Last weekend.”
“And when did it scream?”
“Two days before I went in.”
My client isn’t alone. I’m guilty of brushing aside alignments that I hoped would go away. I’ve ignored things that just weren’t quite right that in hindsight couldn’t been dealt with very easily. Our body knows what we need and when we ignore it, it doesn’t go away, it gets louder until we listen.
It turns out, she needed rest and time to herself. She knew she needed it, but didn’t want to admit it.
“What more evidence do you need to know this is what you need?” I inquired.
“I don’t want to know what’s worse than this. I know I need it.”
“So when will you start listening to your body?”
“When it whispers.”
I’ll be checking in on her to make sure she’s been sticking to her self-care routine.
For everyone out there going a mile a minute, take a pause and check in with your body. Those around you want you well taken care of before you take care of their needs. Take a nap or make a cup of tea. Your only job today is to take care of you.
Utilize Your Under-Used Promotional Real Estate: Your Email Signature
Do you sign your email with your name? How about your contact details? What about your social media links? A Video?
If you said no to any of these questions, this blog is for you!
No, this isn’t an original idea, but it is an under-utilized tactic to get your name and offerings out there. Think about how many emails you’ve sent in the last year and how many impressions you made with those emails. What if you could continue the engagement beyond the words in the body of your email?
If you’re like most business owners, you’ve got a lot of stuff going on and don’t necessarily have the time to draft newsletters or ads all day. In this case, the email signature is your new best friend.
In your signature, you can include:
A picture of yourself (so they know who they’re meeting)
Your contact details (this should be happening any way, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t include phone numbers)
Your website (or 2 or 10 depending on how much you have going on) be sure to label what the site is (i.e. podcast, blog, product)
Social Media accounts (use the logo graphics as much as possible)
Scheduling links (want someone to make an appointment with you, you can include your online scheduler)
A Recent Video (try to keep this fresh every 1-2 months to increase interest from repeat viewers)
How do you put it all together?
You can use the signature setting in your email to do simple text, hyperlinks and images, but for formatting and sleek looks, there are signature providers out there for a fee. I used WiseStamp.com to build mine and have had tons of compliments from it.
It takes a little time, but the upswing of engagement is worth it!
There's an "I" and "Me" in "TIME" for a Reason: Time Management Strategies with a Client
How are you managing your time? Are you waiting for breaks in the day to appear to tackle your projects? Do you constantly feel interrupted or in a start-stop pattern of work flow?
For most people, this is probably a daily occurrence. All it takes is one email or phone call to bump you out of your zone.
This was also an issue of one of my clients looking to maximize his productivity and efficiency. He found that during his day, he would start a project that needed two hours and would get interrupted half way through with an emergency. After putting out the fire, he would return to the project, but without the same energy and focus leaving him feeling frustrated.
“What should I do?” he asked me.
We looked at his overall schedule on a normal weekly basis and focused on the average time spent over a week in percentages in different categories:
Company Meetings - 20%
Employee One-On-One Meetings – 20%
Technical Troubleshooting – 20%
Project Time- 40%
Once we had the percentage, we were able to see that on a daily basis he only had about 2.5 hours a day to work on projects. He was stunned to see how much of his day was redirected to non-project work, but understood based on his management responsibilities.
Then we looked at average flow of his day as most meetings were pre-scheduled and reoccurring at the same time. After sketching it out, we found a potential solution. Between 10am and 1pm, he typically felt a slowdown from outside demands.
“What if you could schedule your project time the same way your meetings get scheduled?”
“But what if someone needs me?” he asked.
“What would happen if one of your team members was super focused on a project and you needed them for something?”
“Well they would wait until they had a natural break to call me back.” he responded. “So, I can do what everyone else on my team does?”
“Why couldn’t you?”
It was like a switch had been flicked. He could set up his schedule to get his team members and his own needs met.
I have a meeting with him later today to see how his two weeks on his new schedule went and I’ll let you know how it went.
What can you take away from this?
1) Look at your time as a whole over a longer period of time to determine your average time spent
2) Highlight the priority activity that isn't being served
3) Map out an average day and identify the natural dips of time or where you could build a gap.
4) Plug it into your calendar and keep the standing meeting with yourself and that activity
5) Shift your mindset - by serving yourself, you are better able to show up for your team
UPDATE:
Yesterday we had a session and the new scheduling tool was a big hit! Once he knew how much time it took to get tasks done, his anxiety decreased dramatically and his feeling of power as a leader soared.
He admitted it was tedious to think about tasks by the minute, but overall it helped him project manage his day. He also found, by blocking his time out, he could delay a non-critical response until he had a natural break in the process.
When we first addressed the issue of time management, I asked him on a scale of 1-10 (1-low, 10-high) how he thought he was doing. Three weeks ago, he said 3. Yesterday he said 7!
After our discussion, four steps emerged from this process:
Step 1: Get the specifics. If you don’t know the specifics, the task is too obscure or large. Chisel it down to steps you can accomplish and know how much time it will take.
Step 2: Plug it into a bigger picture calendar. Use an app or online calendar to do so and make sure you check your calendar before agreeing to a new project or task.
Step 3: Stick to the plan. There’s no point in spending all of that time planning, if you’re not going to get any use out of it. Following your calendar as if the project blocks are scheduled meetings with another colleague.
Step 4: Communicate your wins and boundaries to colleagues. When everyone gets on the same page and is consistent with respecting time, it can open a door of trust and collaboration while decreasing stress and anxiety.
Business 101: Don’t Depend On Your Friends
I remember a conversation with a business owner who was convinced she needed to add a virtual component to her business “My friends said they would totally pay for it.”
Immediately my red flags were going off. “Have you asked anyone who isn’t a friend what their interested would be.”
“Well no.”
Our friends want the best from us. They want us to succeed and when it works from them, they’ll support us with their wallets. We rely on them as a shoulder to cry on and an open hand for a high five when we’re celebrating. The problem is they know too much about how the sausages are made and may have a bit of a bias going on.
“Yes, that’s a great idea. Do that!” they say. But when it comes time to launching and earning revenue, it’s a fraction of the fanfare. They weren’t lying to you and they’re not bad people. They want to encourage you, but your friends along are not enough to sustain a business.
Friends ARE great for:
1) Promoting your business
2) Referring people to your business
3) Manual labor
4) Extra set of eyes
5) Hugs
6) High Fives
7) Drinking pick-me-ups
Friends are safe and if you’ve only been relying on them for feedback, you’re limiting your marketing reach. Take the risk and expand see what happens. If nothing bites, keep trying or shift your focus. Ask acquaintance level friends for their feedback if they are in your target audience.
The friends closest to you are there for your emotional support, but don’t expect them to be your financial support. It only makes things weird in the long run.
After I created and ran The Spring Cleaning Summit last year, I was ecstatic for the clients and friends that showed up. I also was disappointed at the friends I thought I could count on to support the event. As I go forward, expectations will need to take a backseat to gratitude mixed with the risk of the unknown.
If you're unsure about who you should reach out to, take a step back and think about the problem your service or product is solving. Who is most likely to have that problem? Where do they hang out?
Flexing Your Resilience Muscle
This past weekend I was chatting with two amazing women. Both were children of alcoholism and now in their 20s and 30s had very different perspectives of their childhood. The 30-something woman seemed to take it in stride, understanding that while her upbringing wasn’t ideal, she became extremely self-reliant and a care taker for those around her. The 22-year old woman is married with a young child and was visibly angry and enraged as she told us about her father’s decision to choose alcohol over her family.
We listened to her intently as she brought us to current date and shared the joy of being a new mom and buying a new house.
“You must have a strong resilience muscle.” I told her.
She looked at me puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“Your parents divorced when you were 12 right? That means you have 10+ years of building your resilience muscle. If you work out and lift weights, your muscles get little tears and regenerate making them stronger. The same is true for your resilience muscle. Every time you encounter stress and manage it, your resilience muscle gets even stronger. Imagine that you didn’t have the same upbringing, what would you be missing?”
“I wouldn’t be as independent or strong. I wouldn’t be as good of a mom. I don’t know if I would know how to deal with stress.”
“Exactly. For every experience that knocks you down and you get back up, you can recall on that experience to pull you through. You can look back and objectively say it’s not that bad.”
We could easily blame our experiences from when we were younger. We can easily point outward. But what if we could appreciate what those experiences built within us? What if we could use the situations that knocked us down as a tool to build us and others up?
What are you currently held back by? How has that person or experience helped you become you? How could you be thankful for that experience?
So flex that resilience muscle and see how strong you really are!
Amazon Affiliate Program: Are You Leaving Money on The Table?
A couple of months ago I heard about the Amazon Affiliate Program. I’m familiar with similar programs from back when I ran a CrossFit Gym and received monthly checks from protein powder sales (man, those days are gone). Essentially for every person who clicks a link through and purchases from the site, you receive a commission from a percentage of the sales. Also known as passive income from affiliate site referral.
If you’re wanting passive income, I wouldn’t expect to get rich from it. It takes effort in messaging, promotion and positioning to call people to purchase from your site. If they go direct, guess what, you don’t make the commission.
Back to Amazon. I was super interested as it seems like everyone has Prime and shops on the site pretty often from electronics to paper towels. So there was already an interest and comfort with the site.
I clicked on the “Become an Affiliate” link at the bottom of www.amazon.com and hit the “Join” button. The process was relatively easy. The ask about your website traffic and industry. The one catch is you must have a purchase from your link within 180 days to be an approved affiliate partner and purchases made by your account do not count.
On my site I’m referring inspirational books and equipment for DIY podcasting, video, and photography since that’s what most of my clients ask about.
There are awesome ways to shorten the code to include in emails without making it look like spam and you can just include an image without all of the Amazon branding and “Buy Me Now” feelings.
To date I have made a whopping… wait for it…. $13! And yes I’m super excited about it.
Feel free to check it out and let me know if you have any questions on how to best implement it.
Buzzwords, Phrases and Other Red Flags to Watch Out for in a Future Employer
This week I participate in Surge from Association Success. It was a virtual summit of association industry professionals who came together to address emerging issues. I was honored to sit on a panel with two of my peers and friends as we discussed the topic of creating change without holding a title of power.
As the sessions were pre-recorded, speakers were able to actively engage listeners in a chat feature. It was a lively conversation and one attendee asked me to address this topic in a blog:
“What are the questions we should ask, buzzwords we should look for to see if an employer is a good fit?”
Before we get started in that list, it starts with the jobseeker. Before you apply, have a call with HR or sit down for an in-person interview, you need to get honest with yourself. Chances are you’ve had a lot of baggage from past situations that you may be carrying around with you.
This is your opportunity to repack your bag to your next destination.
Step 1: Make a List of Everything You Hated in Your Last Position
Step 2: Next to Each Item, Write the Positive or Opposite Form without Using the Words “No” “Not” or “Never”
Step 3: What Residual Emotional Baggage Are You Holding on to from Your Last Position? What Do You Need to Release It?
Another suggestion would be to do a Value Exercise to indicate which values are in alignment or out of alignment with your last positions. (Contact Me If You’re Interested)
Now to the Buzzwords…
Keep in mind that words alone will not give you the full picture, so it’s imperative that you do more homework and investigating.
Here are some words I see overused in job descriptions that usually indicate fluff:
1) Open
2) Collaborative
3) Collegiate
4) Dynamic
5) Flexible
As in ABC Association fosters an open, collaborative, collegiate and dynamic organization and has flexible programs for its employees. Without specifics, these are bold claims. If your point of contact avoids or generalizes their response, this is a solid indicator that things may not be what they appear.
Your next step is to check www.Glassdoor.com. If you’ve never heard of it, Glassdoor is a website and app that hosts millions of company reviews, CEO approval ratings, salary reports, interview reviews and questions, benefits reviews, office photos and more. Unlike other jobs sites, all of this information is entirely shared by those who know a company best — the employees.
Imagine Yelp for Employees. Keep in mind that along with employee reviews, a lot of organizations have put HR in charge of adding positive reviews to counter the not-so-nice reviews.
If you see a common theme appear within the last two months, ask about it. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut.
There are plenty of jobs out there and once you realize what you want and deserve, you will accept an offer in an organization that is in line with your talents, experience and values.
9 Ways Make Money Now
1) Stop Scrolling on Facebook – Unless you’re messaging people about your business, you’re in time out until you start making money
2) Name 5 People You’ve Been Meaning To Reach Out To – Pick up the phone, call or email them about a win/win opportunity. If it’s a former client, ask them where they are in the progress and where they need assistance and support. If it’s not for you, refer to another likeminded business. The referral wave is best when initiated.
3) Follow Up – If you haven’t heard from someone in over a week, follow up with a call or an email.
4) Create an Interesting Package – You now have a reason to get in touch with someone for your new and exclusive offer. If they aren’t interested, ask what it would take to be appealing or who it might be a good fit for.
5) Affiliate – I just wrote a post about Amazon Affiliate programs. Reach out to other businesses and see if they have a referral or affiliate program you can promote on your site and to your list.
6) Get Over Yourself – If you need to make money, your ego needs to take a back seat. Even if you need to walk dogs, run errands or wait tables as you build your business, when you can take care of your basic needs, your grip will open up and so will your opportunities.
7) Think About Your Ideal Customer – What problem do they need a solution for and what would they be willing to pay for? Is it a Webinar, an e-book, an in-person event or session with you? Build the solution and promote it out.
8) Ask for Help – Reach out to your network and see if they know of any opportunities. Assuming your ego is on vacation, you won’t say no to something that you perceive as “beneath you.” Get out there and get moving and generate that abundance!
9) Shift Your Mindset – Envision yourself in an abundant mindset. How are things different? How do you feel? Now bottle feeling up and take a swig of it anytime your inner critic starts chiming in.
How Has Your Self-Perception Changed Over the Years?
Answer these questions as soon as they pop into your head with one word or phrase. For any age bracket you are currently in or have yet to enter, change “was” to “am.”
When I was a baby, I was_______________________________.
When I was a toddler, I was _____________________________.
When I was a child, I was _______________________________.
When I was a pre-teen, I was____________________________.
When I was a teenager, I was ____________________________.
When I was in my early 20s, I was ________________________.
When I was in my late 20s, I was __________________________.
When I was in my 30s, I was _____________________________.
When I was in my 40s, I was _____________________________.
When I was in my 50s, I was _____________________________.
In my 60s and beyond, I am _____________________________.
On my last day on this planet, my legacy is:
Feel free to share you entries with me by email lauren@laurenlemunyan.com and I’ll send you mine.
Oh Shit! Overload
In the last two months, I have taken on a lot. I convinced myself that staying busy was the best solution for beating my lethargic tendencies and feeling lazy around my business. Right after Labor Day, I started the 30-Day Blog Challenge and was immediately boosted by the creative charge it sparked inside. I was writing multiple blogs a day, creating artwork, and brimming over with ideas.
The first two weeks felt like a breeze, even with a 4-day intensive certification program for the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator program. I felt powerful and unstoppable. I started dabbling with video again and reorganized my website to reflect my new found confidence in working with creative business owners.
Clients signed up and I got even busier. This is awesome. Busy=Profit=Happiness.
So after the 30-Day Blog Challenge was ending, I decided to extend it to 100 days. More is better, right?
I decided to design and produce custom positivity-inspired journals: Awesome Shit List Journals.
I met with a friend to talk about outreach and we decided to create a pilot event for Emerging C-Suite Leaders. No problem, I thought, I’ve got time. We scheduled the event for November 8th.
Around day 50 of the Blog Challenge, I met with a friend about doing a podcast and added another tough deadline on myself: Have 10 episodes ready to launch by November 20th.
I started shooting more video and agreed to host a show for association professionals on YouTube for launch in November.
I have interviewed four guests, learned the ins and outs of podcasting, edited and produced my own shows, created the artwork and have six interviews scheduled.
I’ve been doing all of these projects while working with my clients.
See where I’m going?
More=Even More =Oh Shit! Overload
Today I’m on day #64 of the Blog Challenge and I could quit. I could say no to everything, but I don’t think that I’ll learn my lesson.
I’m doing what most business owners and emerging leaders do. They take on more in hopes that it will progress their business and their career. They spread themselves to thin until stress, illness or an internal wake-up call smacks them in the face.
I’ve been ignoring my oncoming burnout for weeks. My boyfriend warned me about it, knowing my past patterns and habits. I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want him to be right and for me to have to change gears.
I’ve been doing everything I coach around not doing. Wake up call.
So what am I doing differently now that I know what not to do?
Building a plan. By understanding my goals and objectives, I can better construct my day and week to work on projects in their appropriate time.
Sticking to the plan. No more squirrel diversions.
Asking for help. I’m here to admit that I suck at technology and refuse to ask for help. I keep trying to MacGyver my way through recording and lighting. The ironic piece is I have at least three friends who have offered to help who are in TV and Radio and do this for a living. Yes, it’s dumb. So if you’re out there listening friends, help please!
Moving after each project. Rather than going go back-to-back with sessions, my goal is to go for a short walk in between. I’ve had days where I don’t get up unless Rico barks at me to go out.
No new projects unless they’re a part of my goals. I’ve been agreeing to do a lot of free or low profit projects. One could argue it’s part of the process in building a brand, but let’s be real, I have bills to pay.
Mandatory rest days. No more waiting until my energy is zapped. One day a week is dedicated to rest, reflection and fun.
When I show up as my best self, my clients are better served and so is my bank account.
Where are you feeling overloaded? What can you put into practice to find more structure and support?
Is the Should Monster Sitting on Your Shoulder?
With the Holiday Season right around the corner, you may be feeling pulled in a number of directions. You’ve got your job, your family, your friends and your extended family, not to mention the events and shopping and eating. Thinking about it is enough to make you dizzy and stressed.
If you’re like a lot of my clients before they came on board, you may be dealing with a Should Monster on your shoulder. A friend of mine said his resembled the Cookie Monster, but instead of chomping on cookies, he was eating up his time.
The Should Monster is an elusive creature. It plays the role of time keeper and task master, but under the surface it does everything to stop you from doing what you need to do. Say you decided to sit down and work on an important project. You fire up your computer and are ready to go and then The Should Monster Appears.
“Shouldn’t you be checking Facebook or doing laundry? You know you should really call your mother. Shouldn’t you pay that bill. Shouldn’t you check your email. Shouldn’t you go to your friend’s event.”
Before you know it, your energy is sucked up and so is your time – it’s 30 minutes later.
You may get frustrated and discouraged and give into The Should Monster’s requests. Ultimately that project that was so important to you is now a distant memory. You bank this experience into the “I can never get things done” or “I’m a procrastinator” or “I’m lazy” message bank for you to judge and blame yourself next time.
So what do you do with a Should Monster on your shoulder?
1) Start with Your Values – What’s important to you and why? This is the first step in my coaching process. By understanding the core values, we have a foundation to make decision based on what’s important to us.
2) Write Down Your Priorities – Next to each item write down the value it associates to. By giving the task an assigned value, it increases the worth and priority of getting it done.
3) Acknowledge the Should Monster – “Hey buddy I know you want to distract me because I’m doing some big stuff and that scares you. How about I write down what you want me to do and get back to you?”
4) Say No. Saying “No” to some things means saying “Yes” to you and your values. If something isn’t in alignment, it’s more than okay to let it go.
I’d love to hear about your Should Monster experiences and how you interact with it over the Holidays. Feel free to post about it in the comments below or send me an email about it. If you’d like to dig into your Foundation Values, feel free to book an intensive session.
Have questions, feel free to book a complimentary consultation.
Should I Stay or Should I Go: The 4-Phase Model to Address Toxic Situations
I was an association executive. I started right out of college and within six months I became an executive director. I was in over my head, but worked 10-14 hour days to cover my lack of knowledge. I didn’t sleep and when I did it was from exhaustion after a complete emotional breakdown. I drank 5-6 nights a week. My digestive system was a mess.
“I just need to get through this dues renewal cycle.” “In a couple of months, the event will be over and then I’ll get sleep.”
This was my life for eleven years and became my normal. I thought this was how life was supposed to be – work hard, play hard, sleep when you have to. I tacked on a marriage, a house and a fitness business and my days started at 5am and ended at 11pm.
“The business just needs to be profitable.” “It’ll be better when I get promoted.”
The business became profitable and I was on track to be promoted, but it didn’t get better. I was done and in a way I knew I couldn’t come back from. I asked for help and hired a coach. Within the year I was divorced, my house was sold, my business was transferred, I moved back to Washington, DC and I walked away from my career.
You may be thinking I’m crazy or brave or a little bit of both. But what if I told you, I woke up and saw the truth behind burnout. Here are the lessons learned and a snapshot of the phases I experienced.
Situation – I no longer found my work to be rewarding. Each event was faced with the same challenges and expectations – revenue, attendance, expectations, room pick up. What I loved was creating new projects and events, creating efficiencies and motivating others. My environment did not foster those opportunities. My values and goals were in daily conflict of my situation both personally and professionally. I knew I had to make a change.
Once I realized my situation I moved onto the first phase of the The Clash Stay/Go Model (Should I Stay or Should I Go).
Phase I: Stay Hope and Cope
In this phase you rationalize the situation. You may think you can suck it up. What’s one more event? You make a good living. This isn’t so bad. You’ve been here for this long, what’s another year?
You can make it work on a temporary basis, but those feelings come creeping back in and then you move into Phase II.
Phase II: I Got a New Attitude
In this phase, you acknowledge your role in the problem. You haven’t been the easiest person to work with, so you move the blame and responsibility into your corner. You ask for help. Sometimes you get it and things are great, but when you don’t get what you need, Phase III comes steaming at you head on.
Phase III: Get the Hell Out of Dodge
You don’t care what anyone says, you have to leave. You may take off for a month or you may quit on the spot. Your baggage goes with you and the bridges are ablaze around you. In this phase, you get immediate relief, but you may end up in a worse situation or without a job. Why? Because you’re still you as a victim of the situation. They did this to you and you had no other choice. You may regret how you did it, but not that you did it, which leads us to Phase IV.
Phase IV: Reflect, Reconcile, Reach Out, and Rebuild
Yes, this is a lot in one phase, but it’s meant to make you think about your decision and its impact on every aspect of your life. What do you need to learn to step into a better situation? How can you maintain your boundaries? How can you practice better self-care or ask for help when you need it?
I have experienced every phase and each one is uncomfortable. Every decision you make or don’t make is a choice. Once I realized my power of choice, I was able to build a plan with the help of a coach and transition into my new career and value-centric life.
Full disclosure, I don’t have kids or large financial obligations so I was able to make bold and quick changes. This is not a recommendation to uproot your life, but burnout is not an isolated condition.
Once you can realize the full impacts and options, you are back in the driver seat of your life, which is the first step to relieving burnout.
Reclaiming My Brand: The SpitFire Coach
Two years ago I awoke from a meditation with an intense amount of clarity about my coaching brand – The SpitFire Coach. Everything felt right about it from the imagery to the powerful message. I wanted to help clients find their inner passion and fire and learn how to effectively express it to the world.
The tagline came quickly soon after – Uncovering Your Truth and Fire One Conversation at a Time.
Then came the logo – A blue and orange figure filled with confidence, freedom and fun.
I set up the website and started creating content and felt that I was on my way.
Then I had two critical conversations – critical in the direction and critical about the name. “It’s too aggressive.” “What if someone has been impacted by a fire?” “I don’t think you’d be able to work in corporate with that name.” “It feels to sweat lodge/fire walker.”
I was in a place in my business where I wasn't bringing in the number of clients that I could say that it was working, but I also hadn't given it enough time. I was unsure and allowed those words to impact me.
Then I did what I never thought I would do. I abandoned the brand and convinced myself that I needed to more general, accessible and corporate friendly. I created Lauren LeMunyan Coaching, LLC to become all things to all people. As a result, I felt my message get watered down and less potent for who I wanted to work with. I love my logo and my website now and think it works for the business coaching world.
But, what I’ve found in coaching business owners and emerging leaders, is they all want to find their fire and feel confident expressing it in business development, message creation, and discovering new opportunities.
In the process of uncovering their values, mission, purpose, and goals in marketing, website, social media, etc, I’ve observed the same pattern emerge. When my clients know who they are and trust their intuition and gut, nothing gets in their way. They make clear cut decisions, can see big picture vision, attract in new business and opportunities, say no to relationships and situations that don’t work for them, and so much more. When they get to their core fire, they start spitting out ideas and can’t be stopped.
Essentially through coaching, they embraced their inner SpitFire.
I just recently connected the dots after being challenged to create a podcast. I needed a name and then of course it hit me – The SpitFire Podcast. Where people can talk about their process and journey to their passion and the challenges they face along the way.
I want to leverage this system to help individuals and groups tap into their internal power and own the space they want. I want people to live without fear or judgment and put themselves out there as their true SpitFire self.
So this is my proclamation. The SpitFire Coach is back and more fired up than ever!
Feeling Insecure About Self-Promotion? Get Yourself a Hype (Wo)Man
It may be hard to believe, but selling my events, products and services can sometimes be unnerving. I am confident in what I do, but the ask and selling points can get muddied by internal judgment and fear of rejection.
If this is the case for you, I may have a promotion hack for you.
A Hype (Wo)Man
On two separate occasions this week I had two different friends step up in this space.
First, my friend Stephanie, who is an amazing connector and supporter of women pursuing their passion. A few weeks ago I reached out to her for input on a new event I wanted to test out. She immediately jumped in and offered to send inclusive and exclusive invitations on my behalf. The event is next week and sold out yesterday with amazing women in attendance!
Second is my friend LJ Samuel, who is a Criminologist by day, and violence deterrence educator. We met to talk about what we were up to. She is now writing her second book. (Her first is Dear Diary you should read it). I showed her my new Awesome Shit List Journal in her favorite color, purple. After chatting about strategy and brainstorming ideas, we dipped into the new bookstore in our neighborhood. After a brief browse, she suggested the journal for the store. That little boost gave me the confidence to ask and to my surprise I got an email for the buyer.
What Makes the Hype So Effective?
When other people vouch for you, it creates a line of trust with an endorsement. Their stamp of approval to their circle or even a brief mention, opens people out of thinking their being sold to. In my situation, it made me get out of my head and internal dialog. If others believed in me, I better believe in me too.
How Can You Get a Hyper (Wo)Man?
Start observing your circle. Is there a person or two who sings your praises or loves to promote people? Tap them and ask for help. Trust me, they love to feel needed and want to contribute to your success. Chances are you may be one of these people who already do it for other people.
Guess what? It’s your turn now to ask for help.
If you don’t have natural hypers around you, I would suggest joining a meet up group with similar interests and connecting with new social groups. You may be in a stuck social circle who is a little fear based.
If you are an artist, musician, or solo act, a manager may be really effective to speak on your behalf.
Whatever it is that you want to do, it’s time to stop playing small and start stretch your horizons and potential!
#Reboot #Restore
This week has been challenging. Not in an emotional way, but technically. I’ve been learning new skills in video, podcasts, web design, digital marketing and branding. Some has been easy, but most has been taxing on my energy and creativity.
In addition to coaching 9 clients, I’m also writing this blog, working on a podcast and new website, developing content for a YouTube show, promoting my Awesome Shit List Journals, and managing my life and supporting my loved ones in their endeavors.
Last night technology and me crashed. It started with my new WordPress site. The embedded code wouldn’t hold (aka look pretty). I read article after article and watched countless YouTube Videos, but they kept saying the same thing.
I walked away and recorded and awesome podcast - this time using an external mic on my phone and USB mic on my computer. I saved both.
I took a break to help my boyfriend out and drive his car off a pier (seriously, but in another direction). That’s when my phone decided it wanted to join the technology revolt. The screen froze and Siri decided to tell me everything she saw on my screen. I couldn’t reboot or turn off the phone. I thought “Maybe she just need a nap.” So I spent the next four hours draining down the battery
During this time, I worked with a Happiness Engineer (yes that’s a real title!) at WordPress and pinpointed the issue. After an account upgrade, I was on my way.
I thought my luck was turning around and then my phone decided to have a full on tantrum. After powering down and restarting, I got completely locked out and my phone became disabled.
I read another blog that indicated I needed to fully restore the phone. Panic filled my veins. “I’m going to lose everything.” I’m that person who hasn’t backed up her phone to the cloud in 142 days. Feel free to say I told you so.
After accepting my new cleared out existence, I downloaded iTunes and after a 75-minute install process, I plugged the phone in. Well because I couldn’t unlock the phone, I couldn’t sync and restore the phone.
This is the point the tears started. The mountain of stress and frustration came pouring out from the week. My dog sensed it and tried to comfort me, but I resigned myself to be a puddle of pity on my floor.
After 7.3 minutes, I was back in resolution mode and I looked up Apple Support. I sent tweets, direct messages and then found the live chat option. Marvin was super helpful until my chat window crashed. I logged back on after another two hours I was making progress. (Turns out on the iPhone 7 the right side button and volume down button are your friends).
I let the phone do its thing and messaged my boyfriend from Facebook messenger letting him know we were going back to 1992 communication. His car was in my garage and I needed to get it back to the pier. No sweat... except at 10:15 at the newly opened Wharf everyone and their mom was out on the street making it impossible for me to turn down the necessary street. I asked a policeman directing traffic and he said absolutely not and that’s when I lost my shit.
Tears flooded out and my body shook. I had no plan b, no phone. What do I do now. With tears still flowing out, I merged back into traffic and circled around 10 city blocks. I wished for a parking spot on the street, but that was unlikely, so my only next best option was the $35 garage.
I pulled down and pleaded with the attendant. He tried to help but his hands were tied and without a walkie talkie we were stuck. He offered me his phone, but because we’re all used to auto saved data, I didn’t remember his number.
I parked the car and took the elevator up where I ran into an old neighbor. “Are you ok?” She asked after a brief hug. “Not right now, but I hope to be soon.”
I took off to the street I was supposed to be on for the equipment pick up. After a 3 minute jog I saw him and lost it again. I replayed my night in between sobs. (Yes this is a total first world problem meltdown).
Then the hero of the story arrived Diane Groomes, Assistant DC Police Chief and Director of Wharf Security. As soon as I saw her, all of my stress from the night lifted. She walked us to the car in the garage and escorted us through crowds of people as we drove on the pier. She just has that silent confidence that lets everyone know she’s got it taken care of. Compared to my I-Just-Lost-My-Shit appearance, I couldn’t help but laugh at the contrast.
After packing up and driving off, my night continued to improve with a treat of a half price sushi and a Tito's and soda at The Hamilton and a fully rebooted and restored phone at home.
So if you’ve read this far, let’s keep going. Here are the lessons I learned:
- Technology like humans isn’t perfect. When it works it’s awesome, but when there’s a glitch it can create so stress.
- Back up your data.
- Do your research before self diagnosing. If I had read the blogs about my phone before powering it down, I could’ve saved 3 hours and an emotional meltdown (maybe)
- Ask for help. Apple Support and the Happiness Engineer at Word Press solved my issues in a fraction of the time it took to search and read.
- If it’s not working, take a break. When you’re stressed, you’re options get even more limited.
- Be kind. I’m happy to say I didn’t yell at anyone last night. Although most couldn’t help me, they were compassionate and understood my situation.
- Two copies are better than one. I ended up losing the voice recording after restoring my phone, but I do have the computer recording.
Lessons learned!
The Dark Side of Teleworking
“You’re so luck you get to work from home!”
“You must get so much laundry done!”
“You must work out all the time!”
“I’m so jealous!”
“You’re so luck you get to work from home!”
“You must get so much laundry done!”
“You must work out all the time!”
“I’m so jealous!”
During my five years of working from home, these were the most common responses I got when I told someone I worked remotely. I choked out a smile while thinking to myself “They have no idea!”
Sure it’s great to not have to commute or to eat leftovers and not spend ten bucks on a sandwich. It’s also great not having to worry what to wear, but there’s a dark side that no one talks about. If you’ve watched “Stranger Things” on Netflix, you’re familiar with The Upside Down. It’s the same place on the surface, but the energy can change shift to a not so nice place. If you’re super confused, I’ve broken down the not-so-nice aspects of teleworking.
1) It’s Lonely – So you don’t have to listen to your cube mate chomping on potato chips or clipping their nails, but sometimes you miss the banter and small talk. It would be nice for someone to ask you how your day is going or if you want to join them for lunch.
2) You’re Worried About Whether People Think You’re Working – You take shortened lunch and potty breaks because what if the boss calls or emails looking for the TPS reports. If you don’t answer on the second ring, you’re clearly a slacker and going to get fired.
3) You’re Hygiene May Be Slipping – Your once pristine appearance at 7am is now a questionable shower at 4pm. When did you last brush your teeth? How about that make up?
4) Pajamas are the New Business Casual – If you’re video conferencing, people can only see from the waist up so you better be comfortable. Comfort is the name of the game and while your feet and dry-cleaning bill may be thanking you, your image of professionalism may be slipping.
5) Judge Judy or Dr. Phil Have Become HR – You now tune in every day to get guidance on interpersonal issues with your colleagues. Ok this one may be a stretch, but I’m pretty sure this was at least a weekly thing for me.
6) You May Be Overlooked for Advancement – Out of Sight – Out of Mind. I hate to say it, but it’s true in traditional organizations. If they don’t see you, they don’t always know what you’re working on and without that reminder you may get passed for bigger projects or promotions.
7) You May Make Less – The best negotiations are done in person. When you can look someone in the eye and read their body language you can better negotiate and communicate. If you are working remotely, you aren’t as much of a thorn in the side of the company who needs to be taken care of.
8) Energy Drop – Because you don’t have the expectation to be out and about and may not be showering or brushing your teeth or dressed, it may be harder to get going and provide that much needed self-care. Over time this can lead to sluggish behavior or even feeling depressed.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but in order to find resolution, you must know all of the facts. If you work from home and have experienced any of these issues, the first step is to be aware and recreate your routines.
1) Take a Shower, brush Your teeth, and get dressed (No Yoga Pants)
2) Eat a healthy breakfast
3) Schedule breaks through the day to move
4) Reach out to colleagues by phone and/or schedule time to meet up with people for lunch
5) Communicate with your boss and colleagues about what you’re working on. Don’t be afraid to brag.
6) Ask about advancement and the steps needed to get you there
7) Show up in person for salary negotiations
8) Take care of yourself and ask for help when you need it
How To Craft an Impactful Tagline in 10 Minutes or Less
I see so many business owners stuck when it comes to their tagline. “It has to be just right.” “It must be the perfect compilation of words to express my essence.”
Last week I met with a prospective client, who couldn’t move forward on her business because she couldn’t select a name. If this sounds like you, I have a new trick for you to try out. She was turning money down because she was too indecisive on her business name.
I wanted to share with you a tactic I used with her that will hopefully help some of you. This can be used for your tagline, marketing copy, and CVP (Customer Value Proposition). You can also use it if you need to make quick and clear decisions in any aspect of your life.
1) Find a quiet space that makes you feel come and centered. Bring a notepad and pen. If you have a noisy house, this may be your car or even your closet (seriously, I’ve done it before).
2) Take a few deep breaths allowing the pressure of your decision and life to roll off your back. Keep breathing until you feel tension release.
3) Set your phone to DND (Do Not Disturb)
4) Set your timer for 5 minutes and hit “Start”.
5) In those five minutes I want you to envision a regular customer of yours is bragging about your business to a friend. What are they saying? Think about why the customer is bragging, what product or service are they highlighting, what problem is your business solving? Copy down everything you hear and see.
6) After the 5 minutes is up, circle the words of impact.
7) Plug it into the following equation options:
(Action) (Customer) to (Solution)
(Solution)
(Action) (Customer)
Here is my new tagline: With Permission, Kicking Stuck Businesses Into Awesomeness
This is an example of the first option.
If I were using the Solution Option, it would look something like:
Kick Butt Business Results
If I were using the Action – Customer Option, it would look like:
Awesome-Evoking Small Business Coaching
If you're still feeling stuck, schedule a complimentary consultation with me to see if there are deeper blocks keeping you from tapping into your creative genius.
How to Get Off The Hustle Hamster Wheel
We live in a culture that rewards action.
Hustle. Grind. Go-Getter. Beast Mode. Hard Core.
The hashtags are all over Instagram as a symbol of being a hard worker. Go-Go-Go. Do-Do-Do. Make it happen. Keep moving. Get ‘er done.
We are well-oiled machines cranking out ideas, making connections, building deals and executing awesomeness.
But, what I’m seeing is the backlash of The Hustle – exhaustion and burnout. The focus gets set on accomplishing goals. “I’ll feel better when I get this done.” “I’ll be able to relax when this event is over.” “Just one more project before I can wrap it up.”
Our goal-accomplishment, or lack there of, is directly tied into our self-worth. “I’m good enough because I worked out.” “I’m worthy of respect because I spent 12 hours in the office.” This then translates into self-judgment, self-criticism and self-hatred when our goals aren’t met. What also happens is the goal chase. It becomes an endorphin high that stress our minds and bodies to achieve the impossible, only to feel the drop off when our expected reward is never as large or long-term as we hoped.
It becomes a Hustle Hamster Wheel.
When I work with clients who are clearly in this cycle, I ask them how much time they spend in silence. They usually look at me like I’m nuts and start shaking their head. “Never.” My first homework assignment for them is to spend 5 minutes in silence a day and capture what came up. There is no music or activity distraction allowed.
The first week is the hardest. Their internal judgment sparks. “You’re wasting time.” “What else could you be doing?” “Where should you be?” “Who do you need to talk to?” The internal to do list mounts.
After the 5 minutes are up, clients capture everything that comes up including how they feel at the end. Each client has reported the challenge of silence, but also the amazing benefits including feeling clear, organized, calm, less stressed, and happier.
Each week I add a minute to their silence time frame.
When you can give yourself time, focus, and attention to recharge, you are better positioned to serve those around you more composed, effective, and creatively.
Try it out and let me know how it goes!