Thank You, IRS.
Dear IRS,
I wanted to say thank you. I’m sure you’re used to getting tons of correspondence, but very rarely do you receive gratitude.
A few months ago, I received a notice from you that I owed hundreds of thousands of dollars. At first I was flattered that you thought I was worth so much in one year! But then I realized you weren’t talking about Monopoly money.
I panicked at the thought of a huge bill as a new business owner. But then you sparked my inner bad ass. I gathered my documentation and was able to reflect on the profit I made from my house sale and the personal progress I had made from the end of 2015.
After speaking with an awesome accountant, I refiled my 2015 taxes and for a nominal fee I was resolved of the stress and could truly close a chapter in the book of my past life.
So, thank you for making me see my worth.
Thank you for giving me full closure.
Thank you for inspiring to take myself seriously.
Your friend,
Lauren
Tag, You’re It: Tips for YouTube Tagging
We spend tons of time developing content, but if we don’t get the expected engagement, it can feel like a failure. This is exactly what I experienced when it came to my “Water Cooler Wednesdays” series. I spent hours coming up with topics and content and then filmed and edited each weekly episode. After 30 episodes, I hit a wall. Even after boosting posts on Facebook, I didn’t get the response I hoped for. So, I put the series on ice to focus on other content.
Last week I had an amazing meeting with some rock stars in the association space. During our brainstorm on creating content for YouTube, it became clear to me how much traction I was missing by not using tags correctly and consistently.
So now I’ll pass along my knowledge and resources to prevent your social media melancholy. In this post, we’ll focus on You Tube videos.
What is a Tag?
A tag is a keyword used to describe and highlight the content in your video. Tags should be relevant to your content. Tags help increase your views by expanding the search targets for viewers who are searching or scanning content.
There are three types of tags: Specific, Compound and Generic
Specific Tags – These are focused on your specific content. If your video is on how to make a dog costume for Halloween, specific tags would include “Halloween”, “Dog”, “Costume”, “DIY”, and “How to.”
Compound Tags – These tags use two or more words together. Using the same example, compound tags would include “Halloween Dog Costumes”, “How To Dog Costume”, “Dog Costume”, “DIY Dog Costume.” If you are using compound tags, take out filler words like and, or, as, the. YouTube ignores these words in their searches. With a 500-character cap in your tags, choose your words wisely.
Generic Tags – These tags help to classify the theme or genre of your video. If your video is instructional, your generic tag would be “How to” or “DIY.” Be consistent with your themes to increase your subscriber list. When people know what to expect from your content, they’ll keep coming back.
Now that you know your tags, you can plug them into your posted content. If you’ve already published your video, click on “Edit Video” and enter in each tag in the “Tag” field.
You’ll want to lead with your strongest tag. If you’re unclear about this, think about if you were a viewer of your video. What terms would you search for and want to find it?
Don’t be afraid to explore and play. You can always change your tags.
Track your data. Look for upticks. What tags did you use? What is your most popular content?
Test Out Your Tags. Plug in your tags and see what comes up. If your video doesn’t work in that tag, try to rework it.
Look for Examples. Which videos do you love to watch? What can you incorporate in your own video? What tags are they using?
If you have a YouTube channel, feel free to post it! I’d love to view it.
How to Create Content
If you’re reading this, you may have stumbled upon my 100-Day Blog Challenge. I’m over a third of the way through and have been loving the process of pumping out content. I’m sure there are other aspects of my life that I could be spending time in, but I’ll just write about it instead.
I’ve heard from a number of people who were stunned that I was able to do The 30-Day Blog Challenge. They were perplexed where I found the time and came up with the ideas, so I thought I’d dedicate this post to my process of creating content and hopefully one or some of you will be inspired to create your own content!
1. Release the Judgment – Before you get started, I want you to do one very important thing. Do this for you. Your writing is a product of you and if you decide to keep it to yourself or post it for the world to see, it is 100% your decision. So write like no one is reading it. This is your gift to yourself. Fuck what anyone else thinks.
2. Make a List of Topics the Get You Excited – My list included small business lessons learned, relationships, time management, communication styles, creativity, my dog, etc. Pretty general to start.
3. Have Conversations with Interesting People and Capture the Themes – When I’m not writing, I’m gabbing away with anyone who will tolerate it. From the concierge in my building to the Uber driver, I am fascinated by people’s stories and what I learn in the process. When the conversation is over, I write down the main points in the notes section of my phone to recall the important parts when I’m ready to write.
4. Go for a Long Walk – My best ideas come during my long walks in DC – usually when I’m coming or going from a client session. When you move, the creativity starts to flow and you can link together patterns and themes.
5. Listen to Podcasts – Get inspired by other people’s inspirations. I love expanding on topics I hear. Whether you agree or disagree with what’s being said, there is a gold mine of content right in between your ears that gets sparked with other content you’re listening to.
6. Be Still – Close your eyes and be silent. Let your brain do all the work. When your body is still, your brain goes into hyper drive until you can fully quiet it, so use it. Get your mental butterfly net out and capture your ideas.
7. Make Time and Write - Once you have your ideas and inspiration, schedule your time to write – preferably on a daily basis to create a solid habit. I find that first thing in the morning after I’ve walked the dog is the best time. My apartment is filled with natural light and everything is still around me. At my max, I’ve cranked out four posts in one morning, but pace yourself as needed.
I hope this inspires you to create your content. This was very writing-centric, but can be applied to making videos or any other creative composition. If you want to learn more about unleashing your creativity, I highly suggest “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert. It changed my life!
Rebounding from Rejection
This week I was rejected twice. The first from a client that I thought was a sure thing. The second for a training offering. It nudged me a bit, but didn’t knock me down. In fact, this time around, it rebounded me into reflection and inspiration.
It hasn’t always been this way. In the early months of my business, I went through the roller coaster of high expectations to the pits of disappointment. I would meet someone and get super excited about the potential work and projects as if it was already happening. Nine times out of ten, these situations wouldn’t work out and I would be left feeling dejected and worthless. I’d stay in bed for the day, eat a bag of sour cream and onion chips and watch a full season of a Netflix show. I would question my path and consider going back to the safety of a 9-5. Eventually I’d call a friend or my mom to shake me out of my funk and force me to take a shower and face the day.
Thankfully I’ve shortened my bounce back from rejection. Here is my Toolkit for Rejection Repair.
1) Track Your Wins – Every day you win. You’re alive and aware. Just look around and look for the wins. They are there for you. Write them down and remind yourself how lucky you are.
2) Lessons Learned – When things don’t go your way, think of 3-5 things that you learned in the process. What can you apply going forward to have a better result? What did you do great? What are you proud of?
3) Brainstorm New Opportunities – You can be sad, but only for a little bit. You have work to do! Set your timer for ten minutes and come up with twenty ideas to add value to your business, bank account or bottom line. By putting yourself in an opportunity mindset, you’re already on your way out of the funk.
4) Practice Self-Care – When things don’t go your way, do something nice for yourself. May a cup of tea, go for a walk, call a good friend, snuggle with a random puppy, or whatever makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. If that doesn’t work, pop on your favorite song and sing at the top of your lungs while dancing like a Disco Queen. When you take care of yourself, your perspective will shift to positive growth.
These are just a few things I use. My clients have adopted variations of these strategies to cope with their shifting wins and challenges. Try some on and tweak as necessary.
Retraining Your Reactions: How to Become a Calmer Communicator
I am a recovering immediate-responder. During my time in Corporate Land, I was infamous for my overreactions. I took any policy, staffing, or procedure change personally and wanted everyone to know about my displeasure. It was exhausting.
Take the Timesheet policy change for example. When my former company changed their policy on tracking non-exempt employees’ time, I was working three time zones away from the office. As soon as the email arrived in my inbox, my blood started to boil. “How dare they police employees!” I pounded on my keyboard as I wrote snippy emails to my supervisor demanding an explanation. I claimed it was on behalf of my team.
This was almost a weekly occurrence with only a minor shift in the topic. My perception was that my company was out to take advantage of the little guy and it was my job to defend them. Now I wasn’t this paranoid about everything, but I definitely blew things out of proportion on first glance.
So how did I shift away from being a reactive shit-stirrer every day?
First, as a disclaimer, I still have strong pulls to revert back to this way of reacting, so having a strong and consistent practice to change your behavior is key.
1. Take a Deep Breath – I feel it in my body when I’m tensing up. My chest is tight. My neck is like a rock and my temples feel like a vice grip. I find that taking deep breaths (4 second inhale into my lower belly, holding for 4 seconds, and then exhaling for 4 seconds) helps to reduce the stress reaction. I try to take at least five breaths until I feel the change in my body.
2. Be Inquisitive When Reading or Listening – When I can come from a place of wanting to understand, I can get the full picture of the situation, see more options and solutions, and reduce my assumptions and judgments.
3. What Can I Learn from This? – This past week I got some critical feedback. It made me want to run and hide or defend myself, but I paused and asked myself, “What is this trying to teach me?” So I listened, asked questions in a neutral tone and within ten minutes the issue was resolved and I wasn’t carrying a load of yucky feelings for the day.
4. Put Yourself in Their Shoes – If you are prone to only see things from your vantage point or interpret things as happening to you, step into the role of the person on the other side of the table, phone, or computer screen. What kind of day do you think they’ve had? What do you think they need right now to have a better day? Even if you’re getting screamed at, know #1 you don’t deserve it #2 it’s not about you. This doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but it does release the responsibility you’re probably taking on and internalizing.
5. Smile When You Read Emails – I find that I can change the way I hear tone from others when I smile as I read.
6. Don’t Be The First to Respond – I have a tendency to jump into conversations before the other person has finished their thought. In cases like this, I’m not actually listening, but instead crafting my response. You don’t have to get the last word in either.
7. Create Your Communication Intention – How do you want to show up with others? If you don’t like how you’re feeling about your dynamic, how do you want to feel? Write down those descriptors and keep them nearby and focus on them often. People and situations will trigger you, but only you are in charge of your reactions. No one made you get mad. No one made you lose your composure. It’s all you, so own it and start making changes on a minute-to-minute basis.
How to Build Community: The Story of Monday Night Potluck
I am a proud member of The Monday Night Potluck, a weekly get together in my apartment building where 10-20 of us share dishes, wine, and conversation. It’s an amazing group of people from different countries, cultures and perspectives and has made start looking forward to Mondays.
It all started in June 2016 when my friend, neighbor and Fairy Dog Mother, Tish, and I decided to use the grills in our communal courtyard. True to form we cooked way too much food and didn’t want to waste it, so we started texting our other neighbors. Two joined us that night. “We can have this much fun on a Monday night?” we asked ourselves. “Why not?!”
The next week our group of four met again in a more organized fashion, but still way too much food, so we continued the pattern of inviting others – this time hollering at people as they walked into the building.
“We should do this every week!” we all agreed. And that’s what we did.
We started it as “Monday Night Grill Out” with the following rules:
- All are welcome.
- If you’re coming bring a dish or a bottle of wine to share.
- Friends are allowed.
- You must answer the question of the night.
Soon our twosome ballooned to 12 people in a month! We had actors from Arena Stage, a Congressmen, lawyers, entrepreneurs, IT professionals, government workers, and more all at one table enjoying each other. We formed a community with a mutual understanding to enjoy our time with one another.
At our peak, we had 28 people at the table!
In the winter months, we moved our party inside which led to the name change: Monday Night Potluck. We now have a Facebook group where we share news and updates and have continued the tradition for well over a year.
This has become my family in a city that could easily feel overwhelming. Not only do I look forward to Mondays, but I love catching up with my neighbors in the hallways, sidewalks and stores around our neighborhood. I feel like I belong and that my community has my back.
It starts with one person inviting another. The key is consistency and openness. Not everyone will be free every week or month, but you must continue. Your tribe will come. Just keep trying!
Where Are My Blind Spots?
I haven’t thought about blind spots since I owned a car two years ago. They highlighted an unseen risk that could be avoided if I changed my position or perspective. This usually required looking over my shoulder, using another mirror or asking a passenger to look.
During my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator certification, I also got to dive into my own blind spots. “There’s no way I have those.” I thought. “I'm super self-aware of my faults and weaknesses.”
So wrong.
When we think of decision-making, we can break it down into four components for simplicity sake.
1) Gathering the Facts
2) Brainstorming and Building the Plan
3) Executing the Plan
4) Gaining Buy In
With my personality type (ENTP), I was able to highlight my dominant reaction (Intuition), or building the plan, followed by executing the plan. I love being inspired and going into action and making it happen.
What’s missing? The details and the buy in.
By skipping over the facts, I wasn’t able to fully address roadblocks or alternative options. I had the shell of the plan, but waited until it was necessary to figure out the details.
When I didn’t have buy in, I found myself feeling misunderstood or unsupported in my endeavors. In order to get the buy in, I needed the details to support it.
This is a very simplistic view of the decision-making process, but highlights a critical flaw that we all share. Whatever our process, we can overlook or overcompensate our strengths leaving us without the full and complete picture.
From 30 to 100: Extending Challenge Goals
Today marks an important day – it’s day number 30 of the 30-Day Blog Challenge. Each day I published an original blog post over a month. It stretched and challenged my limitations around writing. It connected me to a new audience and gave me a platform to voice my opinion.
Looking back on 30 days, the goal seemed daunting at first, but with the daily practice of 20 minutes – two hours of writing, every day it seemed more feasible. I planned for schedule congestion and loaded up on posts when I had the time.
As I neared the end of the 30th day, I didn’t want this channel of creativity to go away, so I’ve decided to go for 100 days. That’s 70 more days of blog posts. I’ll be publishing directly to my website at www.laurenlemunyan.com with a monthly summary of those posts to subscribers. I’ve also created a Facebook group for the 100 Day Blog Post Challenge for people who want to check in and submit topics.
The Facebook group will also be a platform for others to commit to a 100 Day Challenge of their own. Is it reading, meditation, exercise, writing, gratitude, service? Whatever it is, I’m looking for others to commit to a daily practice to better themselves.
Sign Up for the Monthly Newsletter: www.laurenlemunyan.com
Join the 100 Day Challenge Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/100dayblogchallenge/
How to Hire the Right People
I am not a recruiter, head hunter or HR professional, which makes me far enough removed to give my objective opinion and perspective.
I have been on all sides of the table. I’ve been the candidate with sweaty palms. I’ve written job descriptions and reviewed tons of resumes. I’ve phone screened candidates and held in person interviews. I’ve also had to make the decision and recommendations my for who gets hired.
Some of the candidates declined, some accepted only to resign in under two years, and some became key members of the team.
What made the difference?
I’ll break it down simply. To find and retain the talent your company needs and deserves you need to be:
1) Transparent – Do you have a position open immediately? Are you filling a vacancy? What are your strengths and weaknesses as a company and culture? If you aren’t prepared to answer those questions, solid candidates will easily sniff out your unease or reluctance to answer.
2) Fair – Be prepared to pay people what they’re worth. Don’t try to sugarcoat an “opportunity” when it’s really about your bottom line. If you ask what people want in compensation, tell them if it works or not. Don’t waste people’s time.
3) Engaging – By being able to honestly show up as your company culture, there is no guess work about fit or expectations. You’ll know in the first meeting if you’ll have a good rapport. Don’t try to be the hard ass asking the hard or stressful questions. Get to know people and have them be themselves, not a mask of who they think they’re supposed to be.
4) Clear – Let people know about time expectations and next steps. Don’t leave people on the hook if you aren’t interested. If you are interested, let them know what the next steps and time commitments are. As soon as you aren’t interested, let the know. Again, don’t waste people’s time. Let candidates know why they aren’t a good fit. Honesty delivered with compassion allows people to grow.
How do I know this works?
I’m 3 for 3 in finding solid candidates for a company. This company is clear on their culture and expectations. They communicate it effectively. They hold it as a standard and they only recruit in candidates who build on that foundation.
Why Aren't You Telling Your Story?
“It’s not about me,” said the business owner in defense of not putting personal details in their marketing copy. “It’s about my clients.”
A client-centric approach is awesome, but what makes your clients choose you? What sets you apart from your competition. It’s YOU! There are a million other companies out there that can do what you do, but there is only one you.
What’s your unfair competitive advantage?
It’s a combination of your professional and personal experiences, passion, quirks, training and credentials. All of those elements wrapped up make you unique in what you offer and makes you human. Your story is what connects your customers to you. It allows them to buy into you and create loyalty. They’ll be more likely to refer you to their friends and family.
This doesn’t mean publishing excerpts of your diary on your business website. Somethings are best kept for you.
What your clients and customers want to know is your origin story. Where did your business passion come from? What did you learn along the way? What makes you approachable and enviable at the same time? What made you want to go into business?
I found that the more I opened up about my struggles and lessons learned in the process, the more I connected to new people and expanded my network of referrals. The more honest I got, the more others connected to me. Feel free to check out my origin story: http://laurenlemunyan.com/about-coach-lauren/
If you need help developing your story, feel free to contact me for a complimentary consultation: http://laurenlemunyan.com/take-action/
Having Trouble Saying “No”? The Triple Ds Have Your Back
If you’re feel like your calendar is congested or you can’t find time for yourself, try the three Ds when you’re asked to do something. Before saying yes, ask yourself…
#1: Is it Doable?
No.
“I don’t think this in my wheelhouse.“
“It looks like my calendar is full.”
Yes. (Ask yourself question #2)
#2: Is it Desirable?
Yes.
“That sounds awesome. Let me check my schedule to see when I have time to get that done.”
No. (Go to question #3)
#3: Is it Delegatable?
No. – If it’s something only you can do, where is the resistance coming from? Feel free to ask if you can get back to them so you can determine where the potential blocks are.
Yes. – Refer that business and build your referral business. “I know someone who would be awesome to help you with that.”
So, in actuality you’re not really saying “no.” By thinking through these questions, you can take the time to see if it works for you or if you’re the best fit for the job.
Stop Being the Nice Girl
Ever heard the phrase “Nice guys finish last?” I disagree. It should be “Nice girls finish last.”
This is not a call to be a jerk or to stop being kind. This is an alert to start putting yourself first and speaking up. I have seen it too many times in business and with my clients.
They want to be liked. They don’t want to make waves. They don’t want to upset people. So, they stay quiet, nod along, or smile through it. Underneath the surface their sad, frustrated, and angry. The question is what do you want to feel instead of being “nice”? How do you want people to perceive you instead of being “likeable.”
I’ve worked with women who wait to be told what to do because being proactive feels too aggressive or pushy. They get passed up for promotions and feel misunderstood.
I don’t blame them. They’ve been fed lines and subconscious messages about how women are supposed to act. Be quiet and polite. Smile and be approachable. Respond, but don’t talk too much. Don’t be pushy. Don’t be a bitch. Keep it together. It’s an unachievable quest for perfection.
As adults, we realize this is bullshit, but how do we break out of being the “Nice Girl” and start being the CEO of our lives? It starts with these questions.
1) What do you want?
2) Why do you want it?
3) What would be different if you had it?
4) What are you doing that’s working for you?
5) What isn’t working for you?
6) If you could say anything, ask anything, know anything, what would it be?
Notice what all of these have in common? YOU!
It’s not about what others think about you or could think about you. It’s about what you want, what you do, what you say, and how you say it. It’s about throwing your shoulders back and owning your space. It’s about asking for what you need. It’s about knowing you deserve to receive what you need. It’s about saying no when you don’t agree with something or want to do it. It’s about saying yes to things that make you uncomfortable, but stretch you into being more powerful and resilient. It’s about strutting into the room, looking people in the eye, and speaking your truth. And in the end, it’s not about whether or not people think you’re nice.
Working Through Writer’s Block: Observations During the 30-Day Blog Post Challenge
A year ago, I stopped writing. I went from writing every day with the goal of finishing my book to nothing. What I wrote felt flat and uninspired. My daily practice turned into forced bi-monthly homework. Judgment, criticism and fear took over and I decided to hide my words.
Last month I wanted to change. I wanted to be heard. I wanted to get my voice out there. So, the day after Labor Day I pledged to write every day for 30 days. As an added accountability, I had to post it to my blog. I believe this post will be #24 of 30. This has been an amazing experience. Some posts have been cathartic, some have been snarky, some have been inspirational. All of them have been real and honest.
I’ve decided to continue writing beyond the 30 days and go for 100, so feel free to hide my posts now on Facebook if it’s too much for you.
Why have I decided to give myself more work?
I keep hearing daily practice creates behavior change. I feel more organized and clear about my expectations. In a profession that changes daily, writing is my constant. Writing allows me to process and reflect and capture it for later use. Who knows I may have a book or 10 after 100 days. 750 words/day x 100 days = 75,000 words (that’s like two novels!)
How much time does it take?
I write when I’m inspired and sometimes can crank out a post in twenty minutes. Sometimes I block out two hours and write three or four. The constant is the daily post.
How do I start writing?
As I’m walking, listening to podcasts or having conversations with my dog, I capture the ideas that pop in my head and add the ideas to a note section on my phone. When I’m ready to write I go back to my list and dive in. I make sure I’m comfortable (usually in bed or curled up on the couch and have light background music on). I start with the title and use it as my objective for the post. Then I use writing to reverse engineer my idea. Others need to vent and refine. I write in the voice I speak and find my style to sometimes turn into tangents.
When do I know I’m done?
The 750-word target works nicely with getting blog posts expressed. Beyond 30-60 minutes, I find that my ideas get a bit repetitive and bland. By creating a specific number of tips in the title (i.e. Six Pick-Me-Ups When You’re Feeling in the Dumps About Your Business), I know that I need to be done by number six. If I have more I adjust the title or condense other themes together. If the blog goes beyond 750 words, it signals to me I may need to create more than one post or develop a series.
Lesson Learned
Don’t have an expectation to writing or posting.
If all you care about are likes and reads, your creativity will be restricted.
Write about what you love and are passionate about.
Write for you and you alone.
You will never make everyone happy.
Take risks, but be prepared for the backlash.
Have fun with it!
Social Media: WTF Am I Doing?!?!
I am not a social media expert, but I would say I have a critical eye and observe trends and patterns. I was lucky enough to work with the amazing team at Twelve North Consulting earlier in the year to get my ish together related to social media. I’ve been able to implement their framework into my own practices and now I get to share some of it with you.
Over the last few months I have witnessed the good, ugly and bad of social media. From misspellings to misquotes, it’s can be a jungle. There is an understandable fear and resistance to social media – especially Instagram and Facebook. With new technology, tags, boosts, and trolls, it can be easy to sit things out and not engage.
But, engage you must! With most of your target market on smart phones throughout their day, they’re looking for you online beyond your website.
So what do you need to know to be effective?
1) What are your goals? Do you want to educate, play, inform, inspire, etc. Once you figure that out…
2) What is your tone? Are you snarky, supportive, direct, bold, passionate, sympathetic? Once you figure that out…
3) What are you known for? Are you a service provider, honest source, creator of smiles, etc? Once you figure that out…
4) Who are you speaking to? Who is your target market? Stay at home moms, small business owners, executives?...
5) What is your target market looking for? Check out their liked posts and note the hash tags. How frequently are they engaging? When? (Get Instagram Insights to tap into your post effectiveness)
6) Make your posts consistent. In color, themes, messaging.
7) Don’t be afraid to comment and direct message people. Give words of encouragement and compliments. Make sure it’s your authentic voice.
8) Too much or too little? If you are getting less than 5% of your followers engaging (likes and comments), you are part of the noise and need to examine the above items.
It may be too many posts. It may be flat content. Ask for an outside opinion if it’s not clear to you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you don’t know. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
When In Doubt, Just Be You
Today I was reminded about who I am and what I’m meant to do.
No, this isn’t a piece on self-reflection and authenticity. This about owning who you are without apologies or caveats. This is an ode to stepping into your space and finding the flow pocket.
Yesterday I turned 34. This was the first time in over seven years that I haven’t cried on my birthday. I had a lovely day with friends. Some showed up, some didn’t. Normally I would’ve focused on why people weren’t there and what it meant about me. Yesterday was different. On September 24th, I made a pledge to show up differently and stop looking for what was wrong around me.
I had been wrestling around with the judgment of who I was supposed to be as a coach. Here was my list:
- Honest
- Supportive
- Creative
- Empathetic
- Energized
- Professional
- Organized
Does that list bore you as much as it does for me? I’m half asleep (probably because I’m writing this in bed). That’s great for somebody else, but it sure as hell isn’t me.
Over the last year I have come to terms with the fact that I am not for everyone.
I love to curse. I don’t have a poker face. I speak out of turn. I get more excited than my clients when I hear a great idea. I yell at people if they’re disrespecting themselves. I exercise tough love. I use sarcasm and puns on a regular basis. I don’t meditate every day. I care about what people think of me. I judge other people and their actions. I am NOT Gandhi.
So now that we’ve gotten that out of the way I can tell you about my revelation.
In the last month, I have had the most kick ass clients and contacts come into my life. They are ready to do the work. They love to be challenged and to play. They love that someone will tell them honestly and directly what they see. They don’t hesitate when I tell them my rates. They show up and they kick ass.
Today I had a consult with a business owner who was my ideal client to a T. She is in the creative space as is self-aware and ready to put herself out there to take her business to the next level. That sounds pretty good for a standard client so I decided to dig deeper. Before our call I decided to check out her website and Instagram account. In addition to being creative, articulate and professional, I saw a sparkly neon light of awesomeness – she has a deep love for 90s hip hop and terrible Sci-Fi. YES!
Our call became an exchange of philosophies and life experiences. The fifteen minutes flew by and it felt more like friends catching up than a sales pitch. (This is what I consider the flow pocket).
I’m pretty sure I cursed at least three times and called work-life balance bullshit. I made lyrical references to Snoop Dogg and Salt N Pepa and offered to send my rapping YouTube video over.
I’m sure I broke some rules in Coaching Etiquette 101, but rules are just suggestions. My goal is to connect with people and see them where they are. In exchange they see me as a real person and not some high brow consultant analyzing their every move and decision.
We’re all going to mess up at some point – and that’s awesome. Lessons are born in the messiest of decisions. When we can let our hair down and trust the creative process to dig in and see our way out of our blocks, we can build a vision we never knew existed.
I am grateful for the coaches, friends and family around me, that have been trust my process even when I’m sure I sounded crazy. I am even more thankful for the people that didn’t believe my bullshit when I tried to be that other kind of coach.
Surround yourself with good and honest people. Take risks. Fail. Get Back Up. Fail Again. Learn. Grow. AND BE AWESOME.
How I Fell Through Stage Fright
I’ve always loved to perform. You can see the joy in my eyes as a kid in the VHS tapes as I belted out James Taylor in the bath tub. (No, you’re not going to see that video). I would perform in school plays, sing in the chorus and had trumpet solos in jazz band. But then it stopped. I felt uncomfortable in my skin, had braces put on and couldn’t play the trumpet, and didn’t want to be judged.
This may be surprising to people who know me. I’ve been putting on a good act of over-projecting to get it done on stage. In my professional career as an executive director, I was tasked to deliver opening remarks during the first session. My palms would sweat, my throat would close up and my heart rate went on a sprint down a hill. I got through them, but never enjoyed it.
As a coach and business owner, I am solely responsible for promoting and selling my services. I also become frequent as a guest rapper with a Bluegrass Americana band. But now I don’t feel the same level of anxiety and nervousness.
What changed?
Well back in November of 2016, I was called on stage to do my first rap performance. I had no idea it was going to happen and had consumed 2 or 3 glasses of wine. As I heard my name, the initial clench in my chest started, but I pushed through. It wasn’t a perfect rendition, but I don’t think anyone was sober enough to notice. The crowd applauded and I made my way off the stage. Only I misjudged the blinding effects of the stage lights and didn’t see the monitor smack dab in front of me. My left foot caught the corner of the monitor and I knew I was going down. It felt like everything slowed down and I somehow had the reaction to pike my body rather than flail my arms and knock mic stands and people down. So down I went and only the bassist noticed. He plucked me out of my stumble and I snuck back to my seat head firmly in my hands. I was waiting for laughter or “Ouch,” but there was nothing. No one cared or really noticed and the ones who did bought me drinks.
If this was the worst it was going to be, I’ll be just fine, I thought to myself. I haven’t had any falls since then as I am much more aware of my surroundings. I still have a tinge of nerves, but they come and go quickly. I’ve been on stage in front of hundreds of people and I feel the adrenaline and not the fear. So go and fall, go and fail, live out the worst case scenario because chances are they’re not that bad and you’ll survive!
If you’re curious and have a sleuthing eye, you can track down that video on my Facebook page. Good luck!
5 Things to Do Before Taking On Your First Client or Sale
1) The Business’ Money is Not Your Money - If you don’t have a separate bank account established. Stop right now and get it done. Your funds need to be separated for tax and sanity purposes. If you have a separate bank account set up, you can pay yourself a fare wage depending on your business set up. I’ve seen too many people co-mingling funds or thinking they have more money than they do. Your business is there to support you and if it doesn’t work, you need to keep your personal finances clear. When your business is successful, it will be taxed as such and you’ll need to be able to prove write off expenses including your income.
2) Know Your Numbers – From Day 1, you should know what you need to make in a month and year to live to your standards. Set a budget and proforma. How much many clients or widgets do you need to sell to break even? Have you factored in taxes? Where in the year are those big-ticket expenses (insurance, equipment upgrades, etc)?
3) Know What You’re Offering – If you can’t clearly articulate what you do in two sentences or less, you need to spend more time or work with someone to help you get there. As a consumer, I decide in ten seconds if I want to work with your or buy from you. If you can’t get your value across on your website or in person, your message will be lost on your customers and it will make the next item that much trickier.
4) Set Your Prices and Stick to Them – Nothing frustrates me more than the business owner who changes their price every time they get a customer or client email that is a smidge critical. When you adjust your prices, you’re communicating uncertainty and a lack of clarity around your business. Before you take on a client, factor in your worth and the time and resources needed to support your service or product. Know your competition and industry standards and price accordingly. In no way should you be the lowest price in town. All that does is create a race to the bottom of the barrel and the clientele you’ll bring on will expect low costs and will not be in the mindset to increase what they pay you.
5) Define Your Policies and Procedures – Draft up your contracts and agreements and make sure you’re comfortable with them. What about your refund policy or no-show policy? How do you handle contract violations? There are great resources out there for templates and I certainly advise working with a lawyer in your industry to make sure your butt is securely covered.
This is just a snapshot of what to look out for. If you have any others to add, feel free to post below.
Take 2: My Birthday Letter of Intention
I had to start over as the last letter I wrote to myself was a lot of funk and stuck energy. So I did a little reframe shimmy-shake since I certainly wouldn’t want my next year to be any of that nastiness.
Every year I write a letter to myself on my birthday written as if it has already happened. You may find it a little corny (but that’s better than cheesey with my lactose intolerance). It works for me and keeps me honest. I do this instead of New Year’s Resolutions as those quickly dissipate in mid-February.
33 has been an amazing year. My business has taken off and I’ve gained clarity around my service offering and pricing. I put on my first event (The Spring Cleaning Summit) and got amazing feedback. I earned my PCC certification with over 500 certified hours (four months after I obtained my ACC). I invested in myself and got certified as an MBTI Practitioner in Step I and II. I rapped on stage for the first time, fell on my butt and got back up again (don’t believe me? There’s video proof). I’ve performed on stage at the 9:30 Club, World Café Live, The Black Cat and countless other places with a pretty rad boyfriend and his band. I’ve helped friends and strangers driving Ubers find their purpose and passion. Most importantly I’ve taken care of myself and called in my support circle on this crazy adventure.
I never thought a year ago I would be doing any of this. I was prepared to go back to the 9-5 to regain my financial security. Thankfully, the universe knew that was bullshit and kept me on my path. I still haven’t finished my book, but as a result of my 30 Day Blog Challenge, I’m back to writing consistently and from an honest place and have plans… BIG PLANS.
So now that I’ve warmed up my gratitude muscle, my creative juices are ready to flow for my 34th year.
It’s September 24, 2018 I just got back from an amazing conference where I gave a keynote address in front of 400 bad ass women. Rico Suave greats me at the door with his favorite moose toy. He doesn’t care where I’ve been as long as he gets a good butt rub and new toy out of it.
This year has been a whirlwind of exciting empowerment. My clients have been killing it with their businesses and as a result have been referring in more business to me than I know what to do with. I have a waitlist of 20 clients to work with me in a three-month intensive business coaching program.
Ever since I put out the monthly e-books and leadership training events, my phone has been ringing off the hook. It turns out what I used to be afraid most of (being viewed as a little trouble maker) is actually what the corporate world has been asking for.
The new company I helped launch earlier in the year, Dynamic Team Design, has been picking up momentum once our initial client signed on. We now have a team of six working in collaboration on projects and proposals.
My role as Business Development Manager for CCG has led to major accounts signing on and singing our praises.
On the outside, people think I’m nuts and doing too much, but the boundaries around my time are clearly defined and allow for free time to play and relax with my loved ones. I love the variety of my clientele and the projects I’m working. I attract in bad ass business owners who love to create and bounce ideas back and forth. I’ve become “The Accomplice of Accomplishments.”
Outside of my work awesomeness, I’ve started playing guitar and ukulele and can now bust out some 90s hip hop while playing.
We’re still in DC until my lease is up at the end of October and then it’s on to home ownership, where I can paint the town and my walls red (or whatever color I choose).
It’s funny how I used to think 34 was old, but now I’ve got more energy than I did in my 20s and I’m pretty sure I look younger too.
So cheers to 34 and all of the awesomeness it’s brought in!
Looking for a Job? Do These 3 Things First
Before I became a coach, I had the glamorous job of pre-screening candidates for our entry level positions. I’d get a stack of 20 cover letters and resumes and would have the fun task of reviewing those documents. If they got the initial thumbs up, I went further into my back-end research. Now I’m a business coach and work as a contractor to screen and interview candidates for mid and high-level positions. It would be a disservice if I didn’t share with you my top three red flags and necessary fixes.
1) GOOGLE YOURSELF -That’s right you heard me. Go and Google yourself. Type in your name and see what comes up. What do you see? Is it accurate? Does it portray your current professional image or what you want to be doing?
If you’ve answered “no,” it’s time to start creating kick-ass content to support you as an industry contributor (see my blog on credibility for more ideas).
If you see negative news, there are services out there to help you rebuild your online reputation. (Check Out this Free Guide from ReputationManagement.com )
If you don’t see anything and don’t want it that way, you can create a quick online profile at www.about.me to start establishing your online presence.
2) Clean Up Your Social Media Presence – Can I tell you how many people have been knocked out of the running based on the pictures and posts they have floating around Facebook and Twitter? If you’re going to use your real name and real photos, you may have real consequences. Don’t think HR or hiring managers will look this up? So wrong. It’s first on the list before you even make it to the phone interview.
Even if your profile is private, I can still see your profile picture. To check, log out of your account and search for yourself. If you can see everything, go to your profile settings and amp up your privacy. This still doesn’t let you off the hook if you have a mutual friend. Just remember anything you post is in public domain and can live forever.
3) Update Your Resume AND LinkedIn – I’ve heard grumblings about LinkedIn, but trust me, it matters when you’re in job hunt mode. People want to see your history and connections in a snap shot and that you’re taking your professional life seriously. So after you’ve updated your resume, it’s time to take to LinkedIn. This will take a bit of time depending on how out of date your profile is. First make sure you have an appropriate photo (no booze or bikinis, please). Second, update your headline to who you are and what you do. If you aren’t currently working, you can use something along the lines Freelance Writer or Non-Profit Professional. Third, make sure your work history is accurate. If you need an example, feel free to check out my profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenlemunyan/
The work isn’t over after these action items, but they will prevent the door from closing without good reason.
Evaluating Your Gratitude: Are You Thankful for the Right Things?
Last night I went out for a drink with a former colleague who is now a great friend. We get together every couple of months and dive into the meaty topics of life – family, work, internal blocks. On this day she was different. I noticed it from across the street as she walked to the restaurant. Her posture was rigid and her steps were choppy and lacking intent. As she approached I could see it all over her face. The stress from the last few weeks had taken their toll and she was done.
We got our drinks and appetizers and I started updating her on the latest installment of Lauren 2.0. She was engaged in the conversation, but not all there. Something was clearly on her mind.
“So what’s going on with you?” I asked.
She paused and knew she couldn’t dodge the question with me.
“I think I’ve been grateful for the wrong things.” She said.
She was grateful for her health and to have a job and her daughter and granddaughter’s health. All of the base needs she was thankful for.
“Anything else,” I asked.
“Well none of that is perfect, so I’ll just focus on what is guaranteed and needed.”
This was like a shot in the gut. If it isn’t perfect, is it worth being grateful for it?
I wondered how many other people out there in the world were having their gratitude stunted by The Perfection Gremlin.
Gratitude is like an engine of motivation. When we express gratitude and truly mean it, we receive and observe more things to be thankful for. When we express judgment and cynicism, guess what we see? Everything that is wrong or needs to be fixed.
I gave her a challenge since her initial request was to shift out of this funk – set your timer for 10 minutes when you get home and write down 25 things that would be fun or take care of you and over the next 30 days go out and do them.
As I suspected, she was giving out far too much output and not filling up her self-care tank. Her concerns were focused on making everyone else okay as she continued to be knocked down the priority list. By creating a list all about her needs, the gratitude and self-case lens comes into the forefront.
This behavior starts as a discipline or a ritual. It can be as easy as saying no to someone who is violating a boundary or as high impact as moving on from a job or changing locations. By putting you first, you can actually improve the overall vibe of your environment. When you’re happier, those who support and love you will be happy too.
Side Note: Another Gratitude Challenge for You - Every day write something different that you're grateful for.