The Power of Effective Communication in the Workplace

Communication is a fundamental aspect of any successful organization. It plays a crucial role in fostering collaboration, building trust, and driving overall workplace success. However, despite its importance, many leaders and employees struggle with effective communication. In fact, studies have shown that a lack of effective collaboration and communication is the main cause of workplace failure for 86% of employees and executives.

So, what exactly does communication mean in the context of the workplace?

According to the standard definition, it is the process of exchanging information, ideas, thoughts, or feelings between individuals or groups. However, when it comes to effective communication, it goes beyond simply exchanging information. It involves a two-way flow of understanding and engagement.

One of the major challenges that leaders and teams face in achieving effective communication is what we call a directional challenge. In many instances, communication becomes one-way where individuals focus solely on expressing their own ideas, agendas, and desires to be heard and understood. This results in what can be described as two brick walls of agendas colliding, creating a chaotic and unproductive environment.

To overcome this directional challenge and foster effective communication, there are a few key strategies that can be implemented. The first step is to acknowledge that we are all on the same team. This mindset shift helps cultivate a sense of unity and purpose, promoting a collaborative atmosphere where communication can thrive.

A critical aspect of improving communication is getting curious about the people we are communicating with. Before entering a meeting or initiating a conversation, it is important to ask ourselves a series of questions.

1. Who is our audience?

2. What is most important to them?

3. What do we agree on?

By understanding the needs and perspective of our audience, we can shape our communication to foster understanding rather than simply pushing our own agenda.

When presenting an idea, it is essential to consider what information our audience needs to know and what support or decision we are seeking from them. By providing context, detail, and clarity, we can improve understanding and engagement. This intentional approach to communication shifts the focus from being heard to being truly understood.

On the other hand, when we are on the listening end of a conversation or in a meeting, it is important to approach it with an open mind. We should strive to find common ground by acknowledging and appreciating the 10% that we agree or appreciate about the presented ideas. It is also crucial to objectively evaluate how those ideas may impact us and how they can potentially help us.

To ensure effective communication, we should remain objective, avoiding emotional reactions or personal biases. We need to make conversations about ideas and facts, rather than allowing them to be driven by energy, emotion, or personal stories. By focusing on the shared goal of building shared understanding, we can create an environment of trust and collaboration.

Implementing these strategies can have a significant impact on the energy and collaboration within a team. Effective communication leads to improved outcomes, increased productivity, and a more positive work environment. By fostering a culture of open and effective communication, organizations can overcome the challenges they face and achieve greater success.

The power of effective communication in the workplace cannot be understated. It is a critical driver of success and plays a pivotal role in fostering collaboration and building trust. By acknowledging the directional challenge and implementing strategies to overcome it, leaders and employees can transform their communication from one-way exchanges to meaningful two-way interactions. This shift in mindset and approach can enhance understanding, improve productivity, and create a more cohesive and successful work environment.

Remember, effective communication is a skill that can be developed and honed over time. By consciously applying the strategies discussed here, individuals and organizations can overcome communication challenges and reap the benefits of clear, open, and collaborative communication.

Flex Your Truscle: The Key to Empowering Success as a Leader

Trust is essential for leaders, it's the glue that holds the whole team together. When your team members trust you as their leader, they feel more connected and committed. It helps people get on the same page and make the magic happen. With trust you get better collaboration, more open communication, and people are more motivated to give their best. Trust, along with Psychological Safety, are the two necessary elements to build a solid foundation for teams and organizations to innovate, collaborate and accelerate.  

But trust doesn't just arrive in your inbox, it takes intentional and consistent effort. You don't get in shape at the gym in one day, but just like your biceps need reps to get stronger, so does your Trust Muscle, or what we call your Truscles.

Here are 7 Things You Can Do as a Leader to Flex your Truscles

1. Embrace Self-Awareness

The foundation of building self-trust as a leader starts with self-awareness. Exploring your strengths, weaknesses, and values will help you identify gaps and blind spots, celebrate your efforts, and build credibility with your team. Self-Awareness begins with quiet reflection, where you can curiously evaluate and reassess past situations through a learning lens. You can also engage in introspection by soliciting peer feedback and filtering what is for you to learn and grow from. As a self-aware leader, you are setting an example for others and demonstrating the importance of continuous growth and learning.

2. Set Clear Goals and Keep Your Word

Only 3% of the population has goals, and only 1% of them write them down. By writing down your goals, you are 42% more likely to achieve them. As a leader, having a clear vision and well-defined goals doesn't just benefit you, but it gives your team a secure space to operate in. The more specific you are in your goals, the better you can plan for success. Once your goals and plans are clear, you are more equipped to keep your word with yourself, which is the most effective way to build trust within yourself. 

3. Transparency and Open Communication

Transparency is a powerful tool for building trust in any relationship, including leadership roles. Be open and honest with your team, sharing relevant information and insights. Have the necessary conversations that can help create pathways forward. Transparent communication fosters a sense of inclusion and helps team members feel valued and trusted. If faced with challenges or mistakes, don't shy away from admitting them. Your vulnerability will humanize you as a leader and reinforce the trust your team has in you.

4. Delegate and Empower Others

Leadership is not about micromanagement; it's about trusting your team to excel. Delegate tasks to individuals based on their strengths and provide them with the autonomy to accomplish their goals. Empowering your team members cultivates a sense of ownership and accountability. When you show confidence in their abilities, they will reciprocate that trust and work diligently to meet expectations.

5. Learn from Failures

Failures are inevitable in any leadership journey. What sets a great leader apart is their ability to embrace failure as an opportunity for growth. When things go awry, take responsibility, analyze what went wrong, and learn from the experience. Demonstrating resilience and adaptability in the face of setbacks will bolster your credibility as a leader, showing your team that you can navigate through challenges and emerge stronger.

6. Build Positive Relationships

Trust in leadership is inherently tied to the relationships you foster with your team. Be approachable and invest time in getting to know your team members as individuals. Listen actively to their concerns, ideas, and aspirations. By building positive relationships, you create a supportive and collaborative environment where trust can flourish naturally.

7. Acknowledge and Celebrate Success

Recognize and celebrate achievements and effort for yourself and your team. Expressing gratitude and acknowledging hard work reinforces positive behavior and motivates your team. Where your focus goes is where your energy grows. Celebrating success together enhances team cohesion and builds a sense of camaraderie, which further strengthens the bond of trust.

The more you use your Truscles, the stronger your trust bond will be. Every day is your opportunity to build trust in yourself and those around you. The more intentional and committed you are, the more successful you will be. So get out there and flex those Truscles!

Need support in building trust with your team, we’re here to help! Book a complimentary consultation and learn what Spitfire Coach can do for you and your team.

The 10 Reasons You SHOULDN'T Become a Manager

In today's video, we're going to get a little real. These are the ten reasons why you shouldn't be a manager. There seems to be this push for everyone to want to move up, to climb that corporate ladder, to advance in their career. But maybe being a manager isn't quite right for you. Press play to find out what I mean.

The 10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Become a Manager

You shouldn’t become a manager if you answer “yes” to four or more of the following reasons:

1) You don't like working with people
2) You don't respect your colleagues
3) You avoid hard conversations
4) You don't want to learn or grow
5) You don't want to be successful for other people's growth or success
6) You don't want to have to communicate - people should just know what to do
7) You see it as a necessary step in your career path, but really don't want to do it
8) Only for the money
9) You don't want to think big picture or have a strategy
10) Don't like holding yourself or others accountable

How many did you check off?

The 10 Reasons Why You Should Become a Manager

Wondering if you should take the next step to become a manager? Here are ten reasons why you should become a manager. Watch the full video or review the full list below.

The 10 Reasons You Should Become a Manager

1) You care about outcomes and positive results

2) You like people and want to play a role in their success and development

3) You love learning and growing

4) You're a good listener

5) You see potential in others

6) You trust your colleagues and feel like they trust you

7) You're a good communicator both verbally and in writing

8) You're okay not being liked

9) You have a mastered relevant technical skill

10) You're the best option

Go through the list. How many describe you?

If you got 7 or more, you should absolutely become a manager.

If you got less than 7, this is an opportunity for awareness to work on areas of growth.

Want to equip yourself to become a better manager? Let’s chat!

Professional Development: Where Can I Get the Most Return on My Investment

Personal and professional development is essential to the growth of your business, but it can be difficult to determine what should be prioritized for employee development. It's often difficult to justify the financial expense that goes into developing employees, so it helps to understand why you should invest in growth.

Here are three reasons why your organization should be focusing on personal and professional growth:

1. You'll Obtain Better Talent

A strong learning culture led to 30-50% high retention rates in companies. (Robert Half)

Employee development is an investment in future growth for your business. Having an employee who is constantly learning and growing will provide a more valuable contribution to your company than a seasoned worker who remains stagnant. By investing in growth, you will attract higher-quality talent because prospective employees will realize the importance of growth within your business model. This high-quality workforce can make a big difference in company culture and production value going forward, which leads us to...

2. You'll Have A More Inclusive Workplace Culture

43% of surveyed employees claim corporate culture was the main reason for their search for a new job. (Hays)

Culture is formed when behaviors are done over and over again by a group. When you are intentionally and deliberately investing in your team's development, you signal that they are important, necessary, and integral. As your team grows, those investments pay out dividends by creating an inclusive culture for all employees. As your employees continue to grow, the organization should grow along with them, creating a workplace culture that fosters innovation, collaboration, and future vision.

3. Your Customers Will Feel The Positive Effects

As the work environment nurtures employees, customers will also feel the positive pacts with higher quality products and services that speak directly to their needs. When employees have more opportunities to sharpen their skills and abilities, they are more likely to apply those insights and efficiencies into their daily work. The growth of your workforce will directly correlate to the growth of your business as long as you are providing development tools for each employee along the way! Remember that these benefits are only attainable if you provide growth opportunities for your employees.

Here are four growth opportunities that can help you invest in your team's professional development:

1. On-Demand Learning Platforms

There are numerous online learning platforms that provide cost-effective tools to develop individual skill sets such as Udemy, Skillshare, and Coursera. Let's say you have an employee who wants to perfect their project management skills. Imagine if that employee communicated it with their manager and there was a free-to-the-employee option provided by the organization and allocated time within the workday to research options and learn.

If you don't make the time for your employees to learn and grow, they will start looking for other organizations that support their development.

2. Books / ERGs / Seminars

Encourage growth by giving each employee assigned books/tasks/seminars relevant to their skill set every month. Create and support learning pods and study groups Doing so isn't costly and encourages growth, creating a cohesive workplace culture throughout your organization. Switch it up by alternating who leads the group each month and don't forget to reward the efforts of the group with more public recognition upon completion. Many larger firms have ERGs (Employee Resource Groups) that are employee-run and company-supported. There's no reason why the size of the company should matter if the intention is the same - to support, educate and empower engaged employees!

3. Networking Opportunities

Networking opportunities allow your employees to learn from their peers within your organization, industry, and beyond. The pandemic has made it tricky to meet face-to-face, but with some intentional and deliberate introductions, employees are better able to expand their networks and share experiences with other growth-oriented professionals. Associations and professional networking groups are great for employees who want to put themselves out there. LunchClub is also a great free option to connect with specific industries and interests. You also have a Roladex of contacts that with some curious questions, you could better able match with inquisitive team members.

4. Group and Individual Coaching

We are definitely biased by the power of coaching. Employees at one of our longest-standing global clients rate coaching as the top employee benefit at the company. Coaching works on a deeper level to unlock the unique talents, experiences, and expertise of each employee to build confidence, expand leadership presence and problem solve in a crisis.

According to the International Coaching Federation (ICF), 80% of people who receive coaching report increased self-confidence, and over 70% improved work performance, relationships, and more effective communication skills.

Coaching is definitely a financial investment for the organization, but the numbers don't lie. In multiple studies, The International Coach Federation (ICF) has shown that coaching usually generates an ROI of between $4 and $8 for every dollar invested.

Investments in employee growth should not be limited to those in leadership positions; rather, all employees across the company should be encouraged to participate in learning opportunities through ongoing personal and professional development training or by taking advantage of growth opportunities associated with company goals and initiatives.

When it comes down to it, growth has multiple benefits. It is not just important for your employees but is also crucial for your business' success! Grow your team today with personal and professional development growth strategies!

Contact us today to design your team’s Professional Development Strategy.

How to Go on Vacation as a Business Owner or Manager (and Actually Enjoy It)

Today we’re talking about taking a vacation and coming back rested and recharged. I cannot tell you how many of my clients do not know how to do this - or how hard it’s been for me!

I was nervous, stressed out, always needing to work, constantly feeling like I was going to miss an opportunity, or my clients weren’t going to come back, or I had to work because I had to make money. And if I didn't make money, everything was going to fall apart. The only thing that ended up falling apart was my sanity, my energy, and my health. So I had to get honest with myself about it.

“Listen, chick! You’ve got one life to live. How do you want to live it?”

I find it interesting when my clients come to me and say, "I'm nervous about taking time off. I'm anxious about coming back from vacation." My response is, "Of course you are!"

Imagine if you're already feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, and you have a mountain of a to-do list, and you step away from it for a week or two weeks, or maybe it's a day or two. And all you can think about are the messages, the voicemails, the emails, the mountain of responsibility awaiting you when you return.

You can't relax when you're at home because all you're thinking about is that mountain that is waiting for you. So you convince yourself that you need to go and check your email, you just need to go and check Slack, you just need to go and check your voicemail and text messages on your work phone.

Then you fall into THE RABBIT HOLE OF DISTRACTION and before you know it you’ve work a full day while you were supposed to be on vacation.

And then you start comparing and judging yourself. And thus, the cycle continues, and you come back after your "vacation" feeling worse than when you left. You are not rested, not recharged, AND you are beating yourself up on the inside for not handling things how you wanted.

So first, let us all take a deep breath.

Let's use this as an opportunity to forgive ourselves for past violations of our vacation time and the self-punishment that followed. Let’s instead acknowledge that we have not treated ourselves very well. We have not been good stewards of our well-being.

And then we can use this as our opportunity to redefine what vacation is about how we want to feel when we're on vacation and, most importantly, how we want to feel when returning from vacation. For me, vacation is about us taking intentional time away from my day-to-day tasks to have fun, nap and read.

Did you know that a lot of companies have mandatory sabbaticals? For example, in the financial industry, companies have pre-scheduled mandatory time that you step away. Companies use this time as an opportunity to see if there has been any corruption or fraud happening or if processes are breaking down or not as efficient or effective without us. As a manager or business owner, you want to know where you may be creating inefficiencies or gaps.

Breaks and vacations are an integral part of the business. We need to take breaks because we need to see how realistic and reasonable it is without you there. Yes, that's right, you are replaceable. We all can be replaced, but I still think you're special!

We are not robots or machines. Even robots and machines need servicing, updates in software, belts and batteries replaced, or an oiling up!

You should be oiled up on a beach! Doesn't that sound fantastic?!

I also want you to realize and understand the message you send to your team when you don't take breaks. When you don't recharge when you step away and don't honor that time with your family, it says, “you shouldn’t either or I may not value or respect you.” Your actions are just as important as your words and when they don’t line up, it creates distrust.

This is an old story, and you probably have had a stressful situation where you've had a boss who's violated boundaries, who's messaged you while you're away, while you're with family, and you have probably responded. Maybe that was a toxic situation, perhaps it was an emergency. But the reality is we start to categorize everything, every communication as urgent and important, when in fact, it's not. We are allowed to go away and we also need to have boundaries.

Here are some ways I’ve prepped myself for time away from my business:

Make an Agreement with Yourself

When I'm away on vacation, I agree to do the following things:

(I want you to write your own list)

1) I agree to remove social media apps from my phone.

2) I agree not to check work email.

3) I agree to put an out-of-office response on my email.

4) I agree not to schedule client meetings while I'm on vacation. (That's a big one. For me, I'm like... I can squeeze in a session.) No, vacation is vacation.

Ok now that we have our vacation agreements made, here’s are 3 Things to Prep You for Vacay:

1) Let people know well in advance that you will be taking a vacation

2) Create a contingency plan. For example, "In my absence, please get in touch with this person and then that person can then determine if it is an emergency and be clear about what makes an emergency."

An emergency is not when people can't find a file or have trouble with a mail merge. That's what Google is for. It's a beautiful thing.

3) The Night Before, or Right Now, Delete The Apps that Trigger You - A lot of my clients have Slack. Take this app off your phone. There's something about that "ping" sound that elicits a stress response. Anything that alerts you turn it off, or better yet, delete it! We're trying to de-stress you here!

Your time away is also an opportunity to train people to be more autonomous, have more agency, and feel more independent. Ultimately, this is what you want to do as a leader!

Can you believe that going on vacation is leadership training?!

Here is where you can start to delegate away:

As you're preparing for a vacation, you need to put your contingency plan in place. Who's responsible for what in which scenarios?

1. If you're feeling anxious, use it to find the gaps and areas of concern in your plan.

"Oh, no, this is going to happen! What do they do if I'm not there?!"

Okay, let's imagine that happens. Who's going to do what? Who's going to take on what needs to happen while you're gone?

2. Accept that you cannot do everything, AND you are not meant to do everything.

It's a very inefficient business model to do that. If you were that in demand, you are holding things up, you are the bottleneck. So this is the time to take the lid off the bottle and depressurize.

3. This vacation allows you not just to unplug and recharge but allows your team to see what else they can do.

What else can they take on? What else are they capable of? And if they can't handle it, well then, what's wrong with the process, and what needs to be shifted and changed in the process? If it's not sustainable for you to be away, then we either don't have enough resources, the process is broken, the product is damaged, but we can't mask it. We can't duct tape it and say that it's perfection because that's not true. Once we know the source, we can improve our fix the dysfunction, but not with you in the way!

You deserve to have a break. It is a necessary part of life. So if you're a small business owner, take a break, even if you're just getting your business off the ground.

As a reminder, be proactive. Look for the gaps. If you have a stress response, get curious about it. What is it that you need to figure out? What questions do you need to ask? What resources do you need to build a plan that's outside of you so that you can step away and exhale?

4. Remember to breathe, just breathe.

That's the biggest thing about being on vacation is just to be present, take it in, enjoy the time and capture those memories. I hope you take a break as much as you can because we all need it.

So You Want to Be a Boss? 5 Words to Remove from Your Vocabulary ASAP

Are the words that are coming out or your mouth or through your keyboard holding you back from success? Your words have power and your selection of some words may be keeping you from succeeding.

If you want to be respected, taken seriously and considered for a leadership position, I highly recommend removing these 5 words from your vocabulary immediately and why.

1.       Nice

Whether you’re the “Nice Girl” or “Nice Guy” or think you need to be, this word is a power diluter. When your focus is on being nice it’s about other’s perception of you. It puts you and your value in the backseat and puts other’s assumed demands in the driver’s seat. If you’re not nice, then who are you? Probably pretty interesting. Try replacing it with kind, philanthropic, compassionate.

2.       Fine

Nothing is more passive aggressive than responding with “Fine.” It’s dismissive and says, “I hear you, but I don’t agree with you, but I don’t want to offend you, so I’m not going to be honest and say what I really think.”  If someone asks how you are and you respond with, “I’m fine.”, it cuts off the interaction at the shins. Try replacing it with full and honest thoughts. If you need to take some time to process, take the time, but don’t replace it with Fine.

3.       Good

The cousin of Fine, good is a flat generalized response. If a team member asks what you thought about a project or performance and you respond with “It was good.”, it signals a lack of engagement or interest. If you must use Good, make sure you back it up with specific feedback about the question. If you don’t think it’s Good, be honest about areas of improvement.

4.       Kinda

Spellcheck doesn’t even acknowledge Kinda as a word, but we’ll make an exception. Chances are you aren’t using this in written communication, but when kinda creeps in at the Board table, it devalues every point and perception of authority you built up. Kinda signals that you aren’t sure about what you’re thinking or saying. That smidget of self-doubt is enough to plant seeds of questioning with your audience. If you are unsure, say you’ll check in on that and get back to them, but under no circumstance should you say “I kinda think that…”.

5.       Just

I am completely guilty about using the word a lot and I cringe every time I catch myself doing it. Usually it’s in the form of “Just checking in” and while my intention is to not seem like I’m interrupting, it comes off as apologetic and meek, which is not who I am. You’re not “just” doing something. You ARE doing it. So when you see that pesky just poking it’s head up in your conversations and emails, delete it!

As you build your strength as a leader, these words and phrases will be replaced with confident statements, curious questions and thoughtful reflection. Stay in the moment with your team and listen to your inner voice and trust it. You’ve got this!

5 Reasons Why New Year's Resolutions Fail (And What You Can Do About It)

5-4-3-2-1 Happy New Year!!!
Woohoo we made it to another year filled with hope, motivation and a laundry list of the things we’d like to change. You’ve bought the new workout apparel, stocked our fridges full of healthy food and bought enough self-improvement books to keep you busy for months. You’re committed to the new you and know you will succeed!

I want you to succeed. I really do. But unfortunately those resolutions are heading for Disappointmentville, USA in about 4-6 weeks.

By mid-February those packed treadmills are collecting dust and those healthy eating habits are replaced more convenient calorie-dense options because meal prep is just way too hard! I don’t mean to rain on your parade, but I do want to give it to you straight.

I’m going to give you the top 5 reasons why New Years Resolutions Fail and what you can do about it.
 
#1: Your Goals Were Too Big – “But all of the blogs and influencers on Instagram tell me to dream big!”

Yes, you should have a growth mindset and think beyond your horizon, but when goals are too big, we set our expectations too high and can’t cope when we can’t keep up with them. 

For example if your resolution is to workout at the gym every day and you push yourself too hard on Day 1, you’re going to be super sore and frustrated that you are unable to have those killer workouts. (After the third day you should be feeling better FYI).

What you can do about it: Write your goal down and break it into daily, weekly and monthly goals. What do you need to be successful? What’s a reasonable, stretch and all-out-effort goal?
 

#2: Your Goals Were Too General – “But if I’m too specific, it will limit my success.” 

Being too general lacks direction and energy. It’s like the vanilla ice cream of the flavor line. Without a clearer vision of what you want, you’ll be circling around hoping that your specific goal pops up. Unfortunately you’ll waste a lot of time, energy and patience in the process and will move on to something easier and more gratifying.

What you can do about it: Close your eyes and envision yourself being successful. What do you see around you? What have you accomplished? How do you feel? Who helped you in the process? How did they help you?
 
#3: You Don’t Know Why You’re Doing It – “Yes, I do! All of the commercials tell me this diet is the best way to lose a lot of weight.” 

Ah yes, the good ole external influence and validation. We convince ourselves that it’s a great idea, but we don’t really know why we’re doing it. We see others do it and it looks easy for them, so we assume it will be easy for us. Unfortunately we don’t see the time, effort and planning needed to change old, nasty habits. Additionally, when goals come from outside of us, we can often get stuck in a comparison loop where we don’t feel like we’re good enough or doing it right.

Resolutions aren’t there to make you feel bad – they’re there to inspire you to be your best self!

What you can do about it: If it feels like your resolutions are coming from outside of you, give yourself some quiet time. It could be as little as ten minutes. When you have that space, ask yourself what do you want and why do you want it? If it keeps coming back to other people or other expectations, keep asking yourself. Make sure you have a paper and pen nearby to capture your thoughts.
 
#4: It Wasn’t Really a Priority – “Umm scrap-booking is extremely important, and I’m offended that you don’t think that I think it’s a priority!” 

I’m sure those boxes of photos that have been sitting in your closet for five years are a huge priority in your life. This is what we would classify as a nice to get done, but if you’re not motivated to get it done in June, what makes you’ll get it done now? When we have lingering projects that we never seem to get done, it adds additional pressure and stress that demotivates us further.

What you can do about it: If scrap-booking is important to you, connect it to a fun goal or an inner value. Maybe scrap-booking represents a connection to your family or allows you to feel creative. When you feel inspired, create the space and time to get it done. If it feels like a chore, you’re going to treat it like a punishment, so have a little fun and enjoy the process.
 
#5: You Don’t Think You Deserve It – “Ouch! That’s a tough pill to swallow.” 

I know this can be a hard thing to hear and admit, but let’s be honest with one another. If you thought you were worth it, would you need a proclamation and broadcast to make the change. I’ve seen this happen time and time again with my clients and friends. The ones who are the loudest and most visible about “going to make a change” are the least likely to keep it up.

What you can do about it: Do you believe you are worth the effort? I hope you do and if so, own that confidence and create your plan with a buddy or two to help you motivated and to have more fun. The whole world doesn’t need to know what you’re up to and you don’t need that pressure to succeed.

If you’ve had trouble keeping up with your goals in the past spend some quiet time reflecting on why you think you weren’t as successful and what you can control in the future to have a better outcome.
 
Additional Resources
I’ve put together this handy dandy Intention-Based Goal-Setting Worksheet to help you get some clarity around your goals for the new year.  Have fun with it and Have an Awesome New Year!

My Work-Life Balance Wake Up

This past week I spoke at a Career Accelerator Workshop for proposal management professionals on the topic of Work-Life Balance.

Confession: I was completely triggered by the topic and session title I was assigned – It’s a Marathon Not a Sprint: Work-Life Balance for the Long Haul

Why was I triggered?

I heard people talk about balance like it’s the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or an elusive unicorn waiting just beyond the horizon. There are tons of self-help books, podcasts, and classes about mastering it. Insert yoga class, meditation, essential oils, and kale and voila, we can achieve Work-Life Balance! Even with the best intentions, these positive practices last a week or two before the common stressors of life kick in like an unappreciative boss, sick kids, a computer glitch, etc that set us back into our self-destructive ways.

Why do I know this?

This is what I do for a living. I work with people to get motivated and de-stress. I’m known for helping people with burnout recovery and prevention.

The Real Reason

Because this is me. I SHOULD have it all together, but just like the shoemaker with no shoes, I am guilty of negative self-speak, lethargy, over-consumption of crap television and junk food (sour cream and onion chips!). I was in a daze of distraction of late nights binging on Netflix to self-assigned dead-end projects knowing they didn’t serve me or my business. I was spinning my wheels and I was aware that I wasn’t gaining traction. My energy sucked, I put on 15 lbs. and I couldn’t look on Instagram without hating myself and 98% of the people posting.

I’m not writing this as a reflective story from five years ago. This happened just a few weeks ago. I wrote my first book in August and got an amazing response and I thought naively that the momentum would continue and the next idea for a book would come rushing in. But it didn’t.

I then decided to make an ego-rocking decision to move from my amazing apartment in the sky with picture perfect views to a studio with 40% less space, no view and more quirks than I knew what to do with. I got rid of my furniture and non-essentials. I thought the less stuff and space would give me an opening to create. It didn’t. Instead I felt claustrophobic, isolated and paralyzed. My space didn’t make me feel successful. An ounce of clutter overwhelmed my sight line. A dirty dish became an impossible task. My bed became my home base where I spent more hours in then I want to admit.

Who was I to be giving advice on Work-Life Balance, when my world seemed to be merging into a blob of funk??

This was my real trigger. I felt like an impostor. How could I be the expert on balance when I was struggling to get myself out of bed? How could I inspire people to be confident in their own skin when I didn’t feel comfortable in my own?

It wasn’t until my grandmother’s funeral the week before Thanksgiving that it clicked. I had been focusing on what wasn’t there or what was lacking. My brain was on high alert pinpointing everything that wasn’t working. But there’s nothing like people who knew you when you had a snotty nose and were missing teeth.

My family that I hadn’t seen for 15+ years didn’t care that I wasn’t writing another book – they were happy I wrote the one I did and that it was dedicated to my grandma, Dolly. They didn’t care that I put on weight – they had nothing to compare it to. They were just happy to see me and to hear my stories honoring Dolly. They loved me because I showed up as me.

My heart filled up to a level I didn’t know I had been missing. I was open to receive and to listen to what I needed.

What was out of balance?

I was out of alignment with familial connection. I was so focused with creating, entertaining and managing other people, that I forgot about my own need for connection. I excused it away as people being busy, but I missed my family and my friends.

After returning home, I decided to get my shit together and park the pity train at the station. I signed up for a 4-week workout/meal plan challenge at the insistence of one of my clients (yes, even the coach can get coached!) and have stuck with it. I asked for help from my amazing neighbors who volunteered their space for me to work out of and store my over-sized furniture. I can now see my floor and access both windows in my 395-foot space. I started writing again – hence this blog post.

Most importantly I spoke to that room of proposal management professionals not as an uppity expert, but as a human being doing the best I could. Instead of reading slides and telling people what to do, I offered tools and encouraged them to trust themselves and listen to what their body and soul really needed.

See, it’s not about the perfect amount of time or energy that you spend at work and home, but about how you spend it. It’s an ongoing check-in with yourself about what’s working and what’s not. When you make it about your choice and your terms, you have the ability to reframe any situation or make new decisions that better serve you. When you take care of yourself first and foremost you can better support and take care of others around you!

I Suck at Sales and Social Media, What Do I Do? Stop Selling, Start Connecting

Last night was the July installment of The SpitFire Circle, a monthly meeting of small business owners who come together to share their experiences and learn from one another while being challenged to get to the root of their blocks to success. Every month the dynamic is slightly different with a shift in industries represented, from makers to photographers to writers to travel consultants, but one thing has remained true for the last six months, people hate selling!

Whether it’s online or in person, that cringe of icky creeps up in their gut and builds in their throat. You would think they were being tortured. For many it feels like that. The slimy tactics taught in seminars and best-selling books preach tactics like “creating urgency”, “building demand” and “always be closing” and they clearly do not fit for many entrepreneurs.

But with products to sell and bills to pay, they’ve got to make it work, but on their terms.

What If I Suck at Social Media?

Last night this topic came up in our discussion. “I know I suck at sales, but I have to do it” said one maker. “I especially despise selling on social media. I feel extremely disconnected and out of place.”

“So what do you love about your business?” I asked.

“I love making things and designing a product for a need.”

“So what if you could tell the story of your design and share the products with people who would love them and need them?”

“That would be great, but where do I find them?”

“That’s a great question, let’s look at who you’re designing for.”

After some deeper questions, we were able to identify that her customer was a lot like her – sensible, environmentally conscious, appreciated well-made and handmade goods, would spend money for a better product.

We continued the probing questions…

“So what accounts do you really like on Instagram?”

The list of accounts poured out like a coupon stream at CVS. (You know what I’m talking about.) She wrote them down.

“Ok. Now you know what they’re interested in. What if you reached out to a couple of people on those accounts you like and asked them to check your product out?”

“How do I do that? That seems really presumptuous and pushy.”

“It’s all in the tone. Imagine that there is this amazing product out there that you’ve never seen until one day you get a direct message from someone asking you to try it in exchange for posting about it. Does that seem pushy?”

“No. That sounds pretty awesome. I’d love to get free things.”

“This is relationship or influencer marketing. The idea is to build a relationship with people who you think will really love your product. Unlike other tactics where people pay money to post about their product, this is a true business to consumer relationship. Your goal is to connect and maintain the connection with the customer, so when you’ve got new products coming out, you know you can turn to them for some awesome feedback and potential promotion. How does that sound?”

“Awesome, but what do I say? What if they say no?”

“Start a conversation and ask if they’d be interested. If they say no or don’t respond, move on to the next. It’s a numbers game ultimately, so start with 5-7 accounts that you really dig and don’t take it personally.”

Transaction Complete… Now What?

You’ve made the sale as you’ve done so may times before, but then you never see them again.

“How do I keep people’s attention without being annoying?” asked a canine-focused entrepreneur.

“Define annoying.” I asked.

“Well sending multiple emails and salesy posts about products. That stuff gets old.”

“What would you want to hear from a brand you love?”

“Hmm I love fun contests where I can either get reposted or win product.”

“That’s a great place to start. What information are you looking in return from your customers who respond?”

“I want to know what they love about their dogs and why they use my product and not someone else’s so I can tweak the messaging or specifics of the product, but I feel weird asking it.”

“So what’s a more playful way to ask that in a contest-based format?”

“Hmm I could run a competition asking people ‘What do you love about your dog?’ or ‘What does your dog love about our product?’ or I could ask them to post pictures with them using their product with their dog.”

“That sounds awesome.”

Here we have an example of expanding your relationships to build trust while gathering necessary information to help you improve your product or service while providing value.

But what happens if you don’t get any responses?

Keep tweaking the messaging or build your audience. Either the content or the target is off, but the key is to keep trying. You may have a lot of “Nos” or crickets, but trust and believe in the awesomeness of yourself and your product.

About The SpitFire Circle

The SpitFire Circle is a monthly in person meet up in Southwest Washington, DC facilitated by Strategic Business Coach, Lauren LeMunyan. If you’d like more information or to attend, please visit www.spitfirecoach.com/group  (Online SpitFire Circles Coming Soon!)

Attention Entrepreneurs: Stop Your “Hustle”, “Grind” and “Struggle”

You may have a shirt or mug with a version of one of these phrases…

“Rise and Grind”

“The Hustle is Real”

“The Struggle is Necessary”

It’s become the mantra for entrepreneurs and new business owners. “I’ve gotta struggle, hustle and grind to make it” you think to yourself.

Really?! When did that become desirable or cool?

That’s the mindset you want to wake up to everyday? That’s your inspiration for leaving your cozy guaranteed paycheck with benefits and days off?

“Sleep is for the weak. I’ll sleep with I’m dead.”

Good luck with that. Sleep deprivation is the killer of your healthy, clarity and creativity. You know, those necessary elements needed to start and run a business.

“Entrepreneurship is risky. I’ve gotta throw everything I have at it.”

Yes, with anything there are risks, but before you go investing in online master classes, programs, software and virtual assistants, get yourself a plan. Sit down and think about what you want to accomplish. Well first make sure you get some sleep and are hydrated (self-care is paramount). Calculate your risks.

Get Real With Yourself.

What are you willing to lose financially, energetically, logistically? How much time do you currently have to spare? What is reasonable to accomplish with that time? Can you stay in your current position while you build your dream?

What’s Your Urgency Really About?

Anytime I hear people talk about their business with any of those three words, it’s a red flag. This can be about proving to others that you’re a success, challenging the naysayers, or providing for your family. The common theme — these are all externally charged, which makes you more prone to burn out and a short fuse of patience.

“Well I didn’t mean those words like that.”

Words are powerful and also provide clues to inner dialogues. I suggest you explore your own internal conversation about what being an entrepreneur is really about. It’s not glamorous, but no where is it written that you can’t enjoy yourself, have a balanced life or have fun. If you want to chase those millions and billions, go for it, but first ask yourself why. Why is that figure or target so important? How will it change things in your life? What small steps can you take today towards living your most fulfilling life?

“Do you not like money or something?”

Oh I love money! I love saving it, investing it and earning it. I know it flows and comes in when I’m in my most powerful state. When I stop worrying what everyone thinks or where the next check is going to come from, I take the necessary steps to attract in awesome opportunities.

The next time you think about your finances — do you want to grind, hustle or struggle? Choose your words carefully. They have more power than you think.

The 13 Most Common Entrepreneurial Pitfalls: Source, Symptoms and Remedies

It seems that everyone on Instagram is an Entrepreneur or CEO. What used to be a high risk and scary choice, has now been glamorized into fast money, luxurious lifestyles, and ready-set-go businesses.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but the stories behind the glossy pictures are anything but fancy. I know the true stories of self-doubt, self-sabotage, and business burnout.

Over the years I’ve seen the same 13 challenges and entrepreneurial pitfalls in myself, my clients, and other entrepreneurs:

1. Not Having a Clear Focus/Mission

2. Trying to Be All Things to All People

3. Lack of Revenue Diversity — Relying on One Client

4. Imposter Syndrome

5. DIYitis

6. Isolation

7. Burning the Candle at Both Ends/Lack of Self-care

8. Taking it Personal and Not Making it About the Client/Customer

9. Not Going All In/ Not Showing Up at 100%

10. Not Charging the Appropriate Amount (usually too little)

11. Investing in Tactics and Not Youself or Business

12. Not Taking/Accepting Help

13. Expecting Success to Come Easy with Minimal Effort

But how do we overcome these challenges and entrepreneurial pitfalls?

We start a new conversation.
We get honest
We get real and we get to the root of the issue.
Simple right? Now go do it!

It would be unfair to leave you with a list and a simple three-sentence plan.

In the next section, we’re going to dive into the source, symptoms, and remedy for each pitfall. Before we get going, I suggest writing down, the numbers of your pitfalls. Don’t be afraid… I deal with and have dealt with all 13!

1. Not Having a Clear Focus/Mission

Source: Information overload. The entrepreneur starts with an initial excitement and idea to follow and then, like Pac Man, starts gobbling up all the ideas. With a lack of organization and filtration device, the ideas get muddied. What once started as vibrant colors and ideas have now mixed into a glob of muck.

Symptoms: Squirrely focus. Distracted easily. Persuaded easily by others. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Frazzled. “Yes” to all the things.

Remedy: Stop. It’s time to go back to square one before the business was ever in motion. What was the core idea or inspiration? What about it excited and motivated you? This is where your new mission and focus will be developed. If you are still unclear, reach out to trusted advisors or a business coach for clarity. This will be uncomfortable at the start but stick with it until you feel a focused energy.

2. Trying to Be All Things to All People

Source: People pleasing tendencies. Not wanting to disappoint people by saying no. Desire to be “The Nice Girl or Guy.” Seeking of Likeability.

Symptoms: Burnout. Overloaded schedule. Triple bookings.  Feeling of being taken advantage of. Plays roles that don’t suit skillset. Feeling of being helpful, but helpless. May suffer from reoccurring colds or illness.

Remedy: The Triple D Method to Time Management. All decisions will be based on the following three criteria:

• Doability: Can it be done with the current resources (time, skill, and manpower) as requested? If no, see “Delegatability.” If yes, see “Desirability.”

• Desirability: Does this feel like a treat or punishment? If it’s a treat, get it done! If it’s a punishment, see “Delegability” or use the power of “No.”

• Delegatability: Can this task realistically be performed by someone other than you? If yes, delegate away. If no, and it failed the “Desirability” and “Doability,” that’s a “Triple D Fail.”

You are only to say yes if it’s a “Triple D Success.”

3. Lack of Revenue Diversity — Relying on One Client

Source: Security. High Levels of Trust. Single Focus.

Symptoms: Scarcity mentality. Anxiety around outside factor. Worry around when the well will dry up. All or nothing mentality. Increased stress. Lack of sleep. Weight gain/Weight loss related to stress.

Remedy: Business Development. Who are the next 3-5 organizations/clients that would benefit from your services? It’s time to pick up the phone or write some emails. If a client is responsible for more than 40% of your revenue, it’s time to diversify. It’s easier to make up 40% than 100%.

4. Imposter Syndrome

Source: Lack of confidence. Self-doubt. Limiting beliefs around being qualified/verified. Past examples of failure, being unsure, witnessing failure in others.

Symptoms: Self-sabotage. Not showing up as an expert or thought leader. Playing small. Selling self-short.

Remedy: Create Your Credentials. Just like in school you had to pass a core curriculum, now is your chance. Write down a list of the credentials you need to be a qualified entrepreneur. Seriously. Don’t make it about anyone else. What do you need to learn, experience, gain expertise in, connect to? Create a 101, 201, 301 and 401 syllabi and go from there. After you’ve accomplished your course load, you get to graduate! Yes, you need a ceremony, cap, gown, and diploma!

5. DIYitis

Source: Lack of trust. Past disappointment. My-way-is-the-only-way mindset.

Symptoms: Overwhelm. Overload. Burnout. Distrust. Micromanaging others. Taking back control after delegating. Not outsourcing when appropriate. Slowing down progress. Project stall out.

Remedy: Recruit a Trusted Partner. Whether it’s a colleague or coach, you need someone who has your back and will give you honest feedback and input. You can’t do it all and you shouldn’t have to. What do you need support with? What can you easily move off your plate? Start small and work to build trust with others. If you assume everyone will burn you, you’re probably attracting in people who will. What if you could set your sites on someone who will be truthful and direct with you? Even if you don’t like what they have to say, at least you know where they stand. And how awesome would it be to move things off your plate and focus on your strengths?!

6. Isolation

Source: Fear of rejection. Desire to focus inwards. Introversion.

Symptoms: Refuses social invitations. Lack of networking and connection with others. (See DIYitis). Rejection of idea sharing and brainstorming.

Remedy: Exposure. Sign up for a Meet-Up group or networking event. Call a friend or two. Meet a colleague or client for coffee. Get a shower, get dressed and get out there. Your home office funk is seeping into your pores, it’s time to fresh up your body, mind, and brain!

7. Burning the Candle at Both Ends and Lack of Self-care

Source: Assumption of Machine-Like Abilities. False Sense of Unlimited Energy.

Symptoms: At its most extreme level, illness and burnout. Initially, it is shown as an unstoppable force. Others envy their unstoppable abilities that seem like the Energizer Bunny. For outsiders, they keep going and going without sleep. Without necessary care and recharge, they undoubtedly crash.

Remedy: Sleep (7 hours+), Meditation (5-10 minutes per day), Walking outdoors, Yoga, Nutritious food. If you’re familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, these are at the foundation. If you want to run efficiently like a machine, you’ve gotta keep it fueled and serviced.

8. Taking it Personal and Not Making it About the Client

Source: Fear of being wrong. Fear of failure. Scarcity mentality. Over-personification with business.

Symptoms: By only focusing on one opinion, the entrepreneur is either all right or all wrong. There is no gray area. With a personal single focus, decisions are made on emotional impulse and reaction. Feelings of disconnection and rejection. Internalization of rejection. Judgment. Energy sinks with each rejection.

Remedy: Objectification. You are not the business and the business is not you. Your business is your product/service for clients/customers. By focusing on the needs of those purchasing your goods and services, you can make comprehensive, data-driven and objective decisions. Each failure and success may be a result of your decision, but it does not define who you are.

9. Not Going All In or Not Showing Up at 100%

Source: (See Imposter Syndrome) Lack of confidence. Fear of failure. Fear of success.

Symptoms: Hesitation. Underselling expertise. Lack of risk taking. Unconfident body language. Fidgeting and lack of focus in conversation.

Remedy: (See Imposter Syndrome Remedies) Get to Your Why. It goes back to your why? Why are you an entrepreneur? Why are you taking some safe risks, but not the necessary ones to grow? What are you really afraid of?

10. Not Charging the Appropriate Amount

Source: Fear of rejection. Getting into Client’s Story. Assumption of Value. Interpretation of Lower Value. Lack of Confidence.

Symptoms: Stating prices and then quoting lower. Assuming client doesn’t want to or can’t pay prices. Afraid of people saying no. Consistently take money off of the table before the negotiation has begun. Acknowledges they could be making more, but find it hard to ask.

Remedy: Set Your Prices, Value, and Rationale. This is where you let the facts run the show. Do your research, how much are your competitors charging and what is an appropriate rate? What value do you bring to the table (see your credibility exercise in Imposter Syndrome)? Now write down your rationale for each price. This is your new internal and external script. Until you know it by heart and believe it, you depend on it.

11. Investing in Tactics and Not Yourself or Business

Source: Belief in the Magical Pill. Immediate Gratification. Avoidance of Discomfort. Lack of Focus or a Plan.

Symptoms: Multiple purchases of “Get Rich Quick” or “Learn this Tactic” program, but fails to full implement or see results. Thousands of dollars have been spent, but not invested. Uses language like “If only I…” or “When this gets done, then I’ll be successful.” Frustration at lack of results. Blames others for lack of success.

Remedy: The Mirror. What is it that you’re avoiding that you’ve been needing to do in your business? What are you not taking care of within yourself or relationships? The issues we see in our business are a direct reflection of what we’re not managing internally. Take a deep hard look in the mirror and start asking for help.

12. Not Taking or Accepting Help

Source: (See DIYitis) Lack of trust. Fear of burdening others. Fear of disappointing others.

Symptoms: Overwhelmed. Low energy. Dejected. Feeling like a failure.

Remedy: Stock Your Shelves. Just like in a supermarket, you’re going to do an inventory check. What are you feeling low or out of supply in? Motivation, support, a hug? Note what you need and then look at your supplies. Who around you can support you in restocking your shelves? Reach out and ask for exactly what you need. I guarantee you’ve got a long line of people ready to help you!

13. Expecting Success to Come Easy with Minimal Effort

Source: Instagram-Insta-Success Stories. Comparison. Instant Gratification.

Symptoms: Lack of patience. Frustration at delays. Anger. Dejectedness. Impulsive decision making. Quick-fix program purchases.        

Remedy: Build Your Blueprint. What does success look like for you? How long will it really take to get there? What resources do you need to support it? What daily, weekly, monthly tasks do you need to support it? What’s your contingency plan if it doesn’t work out?

The Key to Successfully Overcoming Entrepreneurial Pitfalls

The key is to think on a longer timeline. You may have daily wins and challenges, but your business will hopefully have a longer shelf-life than 2 weeks. Patience is the key.

If you have overnight success, the bar gets set even higher next time and the chances of disappointment are even greater. Start smaller and build from there. Consistency, patience, and follow through are your best friends.

It’s not sexy, but neither is losing everything and living on your mom’s couch.

My 2018 Business Goals

Earlier today I designed a graphic for a client representing her dream life in 10 years. She's a public figure and wants to expand her reach into the media world. I immediately thought of designing her a magazine cover. It was awesome (she thought so too!). I sent it over and wondered why I hadn't done it for myself.

Like most inspirational tools I design, they are inspired by my clients. I actually really love developing visual tools to help them see their progress, goals, and ideal images. I've created an Ideal Leader, Ideal Client, Life Map, Value Compass and now 10-Year Dream Board Image.

So I designed myself one for 2018 with my goals. I'm going big, because why the hell not?! I'm big on setting intentions and sharing it with others. So if you're reading this and you want to be a part of me making big moves in 2018, you can get started in 2017!

Here is the image.

2018 Goals

1. Make it on a magazine cover

2. Known as "Spitting Some Fire" in my "Super Fucking Magical Coaching" and hosting "The SpitFire Podcast"

3. 25+ Paid Speaking Gigs

4. 15 Active Clients Per Month

5. 2 Published Books

6. The SpitFire Podcast is killing it in downloads and sponsorship

7. Ongoing referrals for Confidence and Leadership Training for Existing and Emerging CEOs

8. I live by the motto "If It's Not Fun, Why Do It?!

9. I am a catalyst of positive change

10. I help people take care of themselves, so they can take care of business.

11. Quadruple 2017 Revenue

Before 2018 is here, I'd love to see your goals. Feel free to post them in the comment section or email it to me lauren@laurenlemunyan.com

Three Questions That Will Change Your Life

Are you ready to find the holy grail of question asking to know what you should do? Yes? Are You Sure?

Hehe those were three questions, but not the questions that will change your life.

As a coach, we are trained to have a tool box of tactics and engaging questions to get our clients to think beyond the known and go to the untapped vault of creativity and imagination. We guide people through the self-imposed and externally position stress and judgment to open their eyes to what could be possible.

See if what you were doing was working for you, you wouldn’t be reading this blog and you probably wouldn’t be seeking external expertise (P.S. You’re super smart for doing that. The most awesome, smartest people in the world have coaches). So I’m going to key you into the most awesome grouping of questions to get your future-self-brainpower going.

Ready?

You sure? Because things aren’t that bad. You know what to expect. You know what’s going to happen and how you need to show up to get a desired outcome. It’s safe there.

What’s that? You don’t want to be the same? You don’t want to keep being small? You’re ready to live large and all out?

Okay! You’re ready!

Here are the questions:

1)      What Do You Want?

2)      Why Do You Want It?

3)      What Would Be Different If You Had It?

 Ta-daaaaaaaa!

Answer those questions and make it happen. It’s that easy! If it’s not doable, you most likely have some blocks to success called GAILs (Gremlins, Assumptions, Interpretations, and Limiting Beliefs). These guys are within all of us and with the proper coping strategies and tactics to leverage them, you too can have the life you dreamed of!